merry christmas....

and the best of the season to you, and yours.


well, another christmas has arrived, and i find myself once again undecided. christmas and i don't have a great track record.... they've included several deaths in the family, being left, and being close to death sick. i find myself a little melancholy for those reasons.

and up until that point, i am fine. but then come the politics of family christmas.... who is hosting this year? what do you mean you're doing christmas there this year!? what is the limit for gifts? when are you coming over here? why not?! things have gotten easier with one of the divorced parents moving out of country - one less house to make it to is that less stressful. if you can imagine, one year we made it to 3 major 'dinners' the same day, plus another 3 places over the two days after.

with our own family now... we are in a better position to define our schedule and start new traditions. for one... only one family house visit in a day. as for the others? well... christmas morning is ours alone now.

christmas eve? not sure if it's a new tradition, but tonight will be sushi and salad rolls. my snack at the moment is crispy anchovy. i don't think it will be a regular christmas eve tradition... but it's good for now.

a wonderful christmas and the best of the holidays to you all.

immigrant? or native?

my son is a technology native. 3 years old. has his own computer; and can start it, log in, load his favourite game or website, and shut the system down (correctly). he also enjoys a wide range of dvd's and movies. (we have no cable, so are thankfully disney channel and treehouse free.... plus skip most of the general advertising.)

he also plays with play dough, and other assorted items like kids from time immemorial. including..... magnetic letters on the fridge.

now what's different isn't that he has the old fashioned magnetic letters (2 sets of 72), and the leapfrog phonics set of single letters, 3 letter words, and the lowercase letters - it's the message.....

www.sonywonder.com or www.disneydvdgameworld.com

here are some other samples.... unassisted samples just to clarify.....




actually.... what scares me is that i'm afraid i won't be able to keep up.

----------------------

on the off chance anyone is wondering what brought on the whole immigrant/native topic, here is the background:

a while ago, a friend of mine posted an entry about technology, and how agency executives are digital immigrants instead of natives.

"natives have never seen a world without the digital. they use it “natively.” if you grew up pre-CD, pre-mouse, pre-cell phone etc., you’re an immigrant."

it sort of riled me up a bit.... and i made the following comment:

what amuses me, is that the digital natives become helpless without the digital immigrants. those (meaning the vast majority of natives) who use technology and take it for granted, are dumbfounded and adrift when it doesn’t work. they also have no second thoughts about putting massive amounts of personal information freely on-line in social networks.

the backbone of the system - those who concern themselves with operations, keeping things running, fixing that which is broken, and security are largely immigrants (at least those I know.)

it’s always amused me, that while I’m considered a “dinosaur” because I am of the “e-mail” generation (nay, I preceed even that) i am the one who is repairing the technology they broke.

i suddenly feel like playing the immigrant song at top volume from my iPod now.

i still stand by that, but have realized it's not completely true... i know many kids in the new generation are able to understand and fix technology. of course, all the ones i know are the children of parents who are technology immigrants and work in information technology.... who else teaches their 12 year old how to set up *nix networks, and would consider starting to teach their 6 year old SQL and Oracle?

game, set, match.....

There is no light at the end of the tunnel,
Only a pack of matches handed down
From one generation to the next.
Humanity does not have a long fuse
And this generation holds the last match.

JonArno Lawson
Bad news, in The Noon Whistle, 1996

remiss.....

friends, my apologies. i've been remiss in my posts lately. just a short update....

• i quit my job, but took another position in the same department, but a different section. this should be an improvement.
• i wound up as acting village idiot for my last month, and had two major projects dumped on me. i near killed myself getting them done (39 hours of overtime in less than 2 weeks.)
• i did not in fact get them completely done, and am somehow fine with that. (i actually left halfway through one, and am not sure how it fared)
• i have thought of work very little over the last couple of days. i don't miss it at all.

oh yes... i guess i should mention, i'm on holidays for the entire month of december. unused vacation time that was mandatory to take due to company policy. have tons of accumulated overtime as well.

i got out of dodge the first three days, and have spent the last couple catching up on errands. hopefully another week will see me mostly caught up - i'd desperately love a week between catch-up and christmas.

we'll see how it goes.

happy holidays if i don't make it back as planned. the new year looks promising.

the rubicon....

so.... the die is cast. i demanded to be demoted. it went fairly well i think - turns out it was somewhat expected. at least my direct supervisor didn't try to bullshit me. he admits it will take a long time to fix most of the reasons i am quitting this position over.

so i interviewed for another position - not one where i expected, but one i can live with. i've worked with the person who will be my new direct supervisor as an equal for 3 years now. the catch? well..... i'm "acting" supervisor until they can locate a replacement.

that's been a month now. officially, i changed positions on november 1st. what's changed? well.... nothing. as you can tell since i am sitting at work eating a re-re-reheated chicken chimichanga for dinner trying to meet a deadline some manager who went home at 4:30 picked.

happy? oh yeah... fucking ecstatic.

not to mention on top of cramming two major projects into a month, i now lose time in the interview process. yup... you guessed it - i'm expected to sit on interviews and help hire my replacement. the last 4 interview sets i went to, i was the only person to show up with a set of questions (which everyone then photocopied and took my best questions.)

is it smart having me on the hiring committee? maybe. sure, i'm responsible.... but i'm at the point of "breathing? can tie their own shoes? FUCK! what are you waiting for... hire them.

of course, i may have put them under the gun.... got the nag letter from human resources about overtime and holiday time that has to be used by the end of the year. so... i'll be gone during the month of december, and possibly january to boot to try and use all my time.

of course.... the fact that i'm sitting here earning time and a half on a project that has many more nights like this one isn't helping.

maybe i'll see everyone in march :)

if i don't have a stroke trying to get there :(

limbo.....

ok.... so while not yet dancing for joy, we've come a little closer. here's the story so far....

having become totally fed up with my job, and at the suggestion of several friends, co-workers, and my better half, i began to seriously consider seeking employment elsewhere. one final straw led me from considering it, to actively looking at optional opportunities on-line.

i opted to see if i could demote myself, as it looked like a position of interest was about to become available. so being unable to resist a dramatic moment, at the end of the day i handed my immediate supervisor a sealed envelope, and parted with the works "we have to talk tomorrow" and watched as they went pale. a short discussion ensued. the request was not a big surprise, and it looked like there were going to be some options.

fast forward to today. today, i had an interview. it was mostly an informal discussion about the transition. the available spot isn't in the area i thought it would be, but may be moved or altered. either one is acceptable. there will be a period of continuing to act in existing capacity, followed by a period of transition while i bring the new sucker up to speed, followed by a period where we determine what my job will actually be. i get to keep the same level of pay, and get to avoid another six month probationary period.

so where does this leave me? in limbo..... in order to advertise the position i am vacating, i have to officially resign. to finish off the application, resume, interview requirements i had to submit my references so they can wrap things up and offer me the position. i also had to submit my letter of resignation.

so as it stands, i have officially resigned, but not officially received an offer. ironically, i've been here before.

i figure in the end, no matter how it turns out, it will be better than continuing as it was. at the worst, i have to find another job - in a city where there is a severe shortage of qualified people. but i'm sure things will work out. they always seem to, no matter what.

today....

after starting the day barely able to walk in the doors at work or keep myself together, much less discuss anything with a co-worker (and not feel like falling apart - indeed, almost falling apart publicly), i am much happier this evening.

more details will be forthcoming, once i am able to iron them out from possibility/probability to actuality.

(no pills were consumed in the production of said happiness.)

"living"....

my life, is ruled by fear. anxiety. desperation. trapped, i stand on a ledge. unable to move, lest i fall. as twilight turns to dusk, and then to blackness. i wait for the stars to appear - light and salvation both. there is nothing but dark storm clouds that race across the sky. frozen i stand on the precipice as the storm breaks around me every fibre of my being screams at me to jump - that my only chance of survival is to close my eyes and take that leap. and so, i stand here. paralyzed. and live. completely immobilized. in fear.

excitement....

because this is way more exciting than my life....

how's your german....

lately i've been doing more correspondence the old fashioned way. by hand. using a fountain pen.

there's something in the process of writing that seems to get lost when you sit in front of a computer. almost as if a part of your brain shuts down - or perhaps you use a different part.

but i digress. as part of this choice to "unplug" i've looked into envelope and letter folding (www.ghh.com/elf) as well as using sealing wax and seals.

in my travels of late, i ran into a fairly unique wax seal. from nazi germany, world war two era. very cool, but i'm having trouble translating.

so.... how's your german?


(Salzwedel was pretty easy to figure out - it's a town that's been around since about 800-1112 AD or so.

• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salzwedel
• http://www.salzwedel.de/

life at home...

my son is three. picture this. he accidentally swallows extra air while drinking his milk. belches. puts two and two together. practises a couple of times. gets the technique. he's taught himself to swallow air and belch at will, and he's got it down pat. still practising on technique, but he's pretty much there.

having graduated to becoming "a man", we opt to start the next phase.....

here are the two phrases we're working on with him. i'll let you choose which you're rather hear:

• gimme some sugar, baby (bruce campbell - army of darkness)
• it's good to be the king (mel brooks - history of the world, part 1)
  

bringer of sunshine and happiness...

excerpts:

august 2, 2001

i have my doubts. i used to have a clear vision of where i was, who i was, and where i was going. more and more, life intruded. weighed me down. clouded my vision. now i wonder lost in a fog. unable to dream any longer. imprisoned. my new weapons bitterness and sarcasm. reduced to using these to ensure survival. chaining myself down, even as i struggle to rise above.

august 8, 2001

is it, i wonder, a bad thing to walk about, with angry rants filling my head and consuming me? maybe it's because i deal with stress better than confrontation, and i'm beginning to see i don't actually deal with stress all that well.

do i actually care at this point? honest answer.... no, not really.

august 16, 2001

i was not always like this. once, long ago, i was like you. a doer, a thinker, a dreamer. as to what occurred to alter my path to destiny, i am unsure. i look back, ponder, wonder, and i see only that my past is shrouded in the mists of time. somewhere in that dense, murky fog lay the answers.

to find them seems an impossible task, yet i must. for now it is the only thing left that can alter my current path. all that is left to save my life, and end this miserable existence.

the person revealed....

i've been somewhat lost for a while. turns out as i randomly hit old journal entries that it has been more than a while. i've been lost pretty much forever.

what makes me tick? here's an old entry. verbatim.

July 10, 2001

gilbert

colton james morris

07.02.91 - 12.17.91

sec J blk 38

ten years. so hard to believe, that it's been 10 years already. so much time has passed, yet here i am still searching for myself. still lost. frustrated, unsure, frightened. what have i accomplished? or changed?

i sit here, in this melancholy place, and feel the presence of grief and sadness filter through the stillness. light wind blows through, breeze rustling the grass and the toy wind catchers. this section, reserved for newborns and small children is almost heart wrenching.

and what do i feel? a little sadness, but no one should be forced to live with such overwhelming disabilities. melancholy? a touch, for he was the son i never really knew. what i do feel, is a sense of grief for the tragedy, and a sense of irony.

and perhaps it is the feelings, the other feelings i harbour in relation to this event that are the ones that don't allow me to get beyond this point.

i have a sense of guilt for feeling them. for they are the ones others dictate i should not feel. anger. betrayed. frustration. rage. but why should they not have a place? they would had the child lived.

anger at myself, for letting myself be manipulated, for not making a stand as i should have. that was my worst mistake. not fighting for my own rights.

anger over my treatment. someone else deciding i should have the right to know, and then deciding i was no longer allowed to visit my own child. frustration that the rest of my family was allowed, but i was being manipulated out of revenge and pettiness.

rage for being told to stay away from the funeral. rage at myself for doing it.

and now? perhaps it was better, not knowing him well. closure? i think finally come when i last saw misty, and met her two kids. that was when i realized she had never moved on, never changed as a person. that she owned the problems, not i.

the judgements made over my actions coloured, overshadowed by their prejudices.

my guilt lay, lies still, in not standing up for myself. i know, but somehow have not yet learned fully, that the cost is infinitely higher than the consequences of taking a stand could ever be.

perhaps, that is what this lesson was all about. to finally come to terms with the fact that i do have the right. that i need to take a stand. and that i don't own anyone's problems unless i choose to. and that it's ok to choose not to.

after 10 years, perhaps i have finally brought this to a close. i feel a sense of peace about it now, and a sense of pity. the feeling of anger over it has lifted. and now, there is a little sadness, a little tragedy, and a sense of finality and closure.

it's not something i believe can ever be forgotten. nor should it. but i think it will now stop haunting.

happy 10^th birthday colton. i am sorry life was so short and painful for you. forgiving myself will bring us both a better measure of peace. you will not be forgotten.

two totally unrelated things....

barney.

oh. my. god. (in the voice and style of janice on friends.) that is some kind of awful. i have just had my first experience with an episode of the big purple dinosaur. it explains why they are now extinct.

besides, i don't trust the bastard. he never blinks. although he obviously has earned enough pimping in hollywood to have his teeth capped.

a vision of wonder

imagine that perfect arc. as it rises, in a perfect parabolic curve. glinting and flashing in the sun as it reaches it's apogee, and then begins to descend, 9.8 metres squared, accelerating toward the ground and culminating in an explosion. an eruption of glass, plastic and electronic parts. the blackberry lies in fragments, in a crater of its own creation.

this perfect vision brought to you by the average day at work.

imagine: dealing with management. trying to explain "why". the cost of replacing said blackberry.

this perfect moment in time, ruined.

the problems in my head....

no... no voices. at least not yet. i've been in sort of a weird head-space lately. i guess that should be readily apparent by my asking okami to marry me - even though it was intended to be humourous, a joke, not only was it in poor taste - but there is something just so inherently and fundamentally wrong and odd about it that it is not only not funny, it's not funny.

i'm sitting here listening to iris by the goo goo dolls over and over and over as i type this.

i knocked some stuff under my desk over, and went to clean up the spill of paper - this is the area i keep my shoebox(es) in.... you know - shoebox. the spot where you keep odd scraps of memory. i opened them and sifted through a couple of items.

• 1990 concert ticket stubs for Depeche Mode - Violator.
• 1994 contert ticket stubs for the Eagles - When Hell Freezes Over tour.
  
• Ticket Stubs form the San Franciso Alcatraz tour a couple years ago.
• A couple pennies that were an in joke between an instructor and myself (my 2c worth. the 2 i have are American pennies as he was from chicago - his are Canadian of course.)
• An empty frame that used to contain a cherry stem tied in a knot. (since you must know, a friend of mine years ago - back in my college days, ate the cherry and tied the stem into a knot using only her tongue before taking it back out of her mouth and handing it to me. I've lost the stem, but the frame still puts a smile on my face.
  
• old cards from Christmases, graduation, and birthdays.
• old letters - Love letters, LOVE letters, fight letters, make-up letters, letters of discussion. Man I used to date a psycho bitch - I guess when someone's nickname for you is "My Little Boy" that should be a pretty good indication there's a problem, eh? (Can you top that one Joe?)

shit. my state of mind is out of joint enough that i'm capitalizing. and i'm too tired and lazy to fix it - fuck the stylistic at the moment.

I ran across two things - one was a scrap of something I had written - the other is a quote that i prefaced a journal with. they seem to fit my mood at the moment - so here they are.

I. I the Creator.
Holding in my head.
My hands. My words.
Untold worlds of limitless possibility.
Infinities of probability and choice.
In the beginning was.
My own image.
Or shall i be something new and untried.
How shall I begin.
And Where.

- messiah

"And this journal will be destroyed... must be destroyed. It is a poet's place to lay bare thoughts that others must deny even having, but poetry is dead and I soon will be and I refuse to leave these thoughts where prying eyes will find them. And yet I must write about it all or go mad."

- Dan Simmons
The Great Lover

ok.... i take that back - on second thought, they don't really fit my mood much. to be honest, i'm not really sure just what my mood is right now.

i think it may no longer be an option not to take some time for reflection. pondering. retrospection.

and maybe to burn some of those old, poisonous letters that i am no longer sure why i've held on to for 15 years.

goo goo dolls....

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

goo goo dolls
iris
from the album dizzy up the girl

true story....

I don't know how "true" this is, having received it by e-mail, but i thought it was worth a chuckle....

story from houston medical center:

a man went to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his penis.
according to the nurse attending, the patient's girl friend found the
ring in his pants pocket and she got so mad at him, she used petroleum jelly to slip the ring on his penis while he was asleep.
i don't know what's worse:

1) having your girl friend find out that you're married.
2) explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis.
or
3) finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring.

Tetris....

Japanese "Human" Tetris.... I wonder when the home game is being released?


Japanese Tetris

http://www.break.com/index/japanese-tetris.html

"

"we human beings need secrets," she thought, "as much as we deserve the truth."

- tom robbins, villa incognito.

insanity....

let's just say.... a little insanity is good sometimes.



How hot is it really? I started sneezing while it was in the microwave - due to the hot sauce in the air. I was able to eat the entire bag at a single sitting - but I'll admit it did make my nose run. Hot enough to be really enjoyable. Not so hot it was a bad experience.

expanded freeware list....

additional freeware i've picked up since my last post when i rebuilt my computer. (can be found under the 'freeware' label.)

audio player:

• XMPlay - they claim "Balls-on accurate. Plays the way nature intended." Nice player. Provides link to equivalent non-windows player. http://www.un4seen.com/
  

screen capture:

• FastStone screen capture - screen capture utility that allows editing, addition of text, boxes, labels, etc. http://www.faststone.org/FSCaptureDetail.htm

image viewing:

• FastStone image viewer - supports all major image formats, and good range of basic editing features. http://www.faststone.org/FSViewerDetail.htm

video conversion (between MPEG-MOV-PS3-MP4-iPOD-3gp/3g2-mobile phone-etc)

• MPEG Streamclip by Squared 5. Also available for Mac. http://www.squared5.com/svideo/mpeg-streamclip-win.html
• SUPER. i had to do a bit of work to get through all of their website to find the download section, but it was well worth the time (they do have a short list of what web settings need to be if you find yourself endlessly looping). http://www.erightsoft.net/SUPER.html

3d /2d cadd & drawing software

• SketchUp6. courtesy of Google. http://sketchup.google.com/download.html
  an interesting concept in 3d modelling software. easy to learn, easy to use. i was able to actually produce a finished drawing in about and hour and a half - less time than it took me to get through the first chapter of the last cadd package i tried to use. pretty feature rich, although the pro version has a few extra bells and whistles that most hobby users would never need. edit: i noticed later that i had listed this in my first freeware post, but think it's worth a re-mention, as i have gained a new appreciation for it having actually had some time to use it. it's now a highly useful tool to me, instead of just a cool free utility.

notepad replacement:

• notepad++ - a free notepad replacement tool. http://notepad-plus.sourceforge.net/uk/site.htm. i switched to notepadd++ from pspad as i find it has most of the same features, but seems to load much faster. for the basic editing i use it for, it was a gain in speed with no loss in features. your mileage may vary, and both are good programs.
  

mind mapping:

• freemind. this gets another mention because version 0.90 is available in beta. but they do warn it's not stable enough for full production. (like that ever stopped any geek i know...)

smitten....

there's a story here. but you've heard all you'll hear about it.



this post brought to you by the perverse smug sense of self-satisfaction that comes with posting something cryptic and vague that is full of secrets.

awareness.....

awareness. or perhaps more accurately a lack of aforementioned awareness. i begin to wonder if this is a root. the root. primary cause. the great mover and shaker of my life.

at one point in my now sad and trivial existence, things were not always so. i think the change came when i sold my soul. shelved freedom. creativity. challenges. and accepted in it's place the tedious drudgery that entails the provision of "the steady paycheque." i have traded one type of prison for a prison that is even worse.

they don't call it the grind for nothing.

at some point after trading creativity and freedom for a steady paycheque i started focusing on the wrong things. or perhaps this trade was the point of no return - for it seems to me now, although not at the time it occurred, that to trade one's soul in such a way is an indication that one has already focussed on the wrong things.

surely there must be a way to conquer the north american expectation. demand. design. that one lives to work. surely there must be a way to right the wrongs and restore the balance. to bring oneself back from the precipice. to work to live.

nay. not only to work to live. but to have a life. an understanding. a definition. and a harmony with that life.

ultimately this requires being in touch with yourself. knowing yourself. being comfortable with yourself. accepting yourself.

time. time and awareness.


----
Photo from: http://blog.7inspirations.com/author/phil/
Photo based on the original Creative Commons work “DSC09508.JPG” by net_efekt (license info..)

offensive....

i used the word penis on facebook today. my status reads "is wondering why spammers have obsessed about his penis."

i wonder if it will offend anyone.....

i wonder if anyone will agree there is something there to obsess about ;)

the sad reality....

somehow, it strikes me as sad, that when my official day ends at 4:30 pm, that i am only now returning home at 10:00 pm.

another fabulous project. another wonderful cluster fuck from hell.

nothing much to say....

i feel like i'm running out of time.

words are not enough.....

arm after the blood letting, er...
i mean blood tests.

feet of frodo. or, i used to have an
ankle on the right foot.

and i'll leave you with one parting thought.....
i'm tired of seeing the phrase "black, tarry stools" on the side effects list.

maybe words can be enough......

frustration....

these days i seem to measure the phases of my life by prescription and illness. it's getting frustrating. and i'm starting to lose my sense of humour over it all. especially when the tests all come back with indications that there is nothing major wrong.

so for those who are wondering how i've defined my life lately.... it starts with the major gout attack about 2 months back, and then continues in complications that seem to be related.

• gout attack
• swelling of the feat
• anemic, with extremely low blood count. seemingly caused by the drugs used to treat the gout.
• shortness of breath
• tiredness
  
• additional gout attack(s)
• continued anemia with a heavy iron supplement assisting in minor fashion
• unexplained serious swelling of the feet/legs for a long period of time. (this would be the latest.) possibly related to the arthritis. possibly related to the drug treatment(s).

test indicate nothing wrong - well, other than the anemia/iron deficiency. ecg says the heart is fine. x-rays say the lungs are clear, however they indicate a possible hiatus hernia. bloodwork rules out liver, kidneys, and thyroid. we'll skip the list of medications - it's not pretty.

monday will see ultrasound tests to make sure there are no clots or other complications in the legs. thursday will see an upper gi tract flouroscopy to find out if it is a hernia, and if there is internal bleeding.

i guess the doctor didn't see the humour when he asked if i knew what a hiatus hernia was, and i responded 'a hernia on a short leave?' oh well. he may be stymied, but at least he's worried.

with luck the reumatology clinic i'm scheduled for at the end of the month may have some answers.

really... that's all i want, is some answers. i'll be less whiny when i have some answers.

so for now, i'm stuck with my feet in the air, able to do nothing - feeling perfectly fine. other than looking like i stole frodo baggin's feet that is. with luck my life will become exciting as he drops by the house searching for them. maybe he'll bring gandolf (and whatever gandolf smokes to look so happy) with him.

i now return you to your much less depressing lives....

the weather.....

just an update to the insanity of weather we have. after the last major heavy snowfall we experienced not long ago - we have had a record setting storm. 72mm of rain fell in a 3 hour period. sure, that doesn't sound like much, until you realize the following 2 facts:

• the previous record was only about 35mm in a day.
• the average monthly rain fall for june is 79mm

add to that the additional 20mm that was received the next day (yesterday) and you'll understand the concern.

and what does that mean to me? 80 gallons of water in the basement. thankfully i managed to keep up on the bailing and experienced no flooding. others.... not so lucky.

here are some photos i received via e-mail from a friend of one of the major roadways in the city: glenmore trail (by the way, the first photo is of an overpass as indicated by the car trapped in it, not a bridge over a river)

remiss....

i must admit, i've been remiss with my posting schedule. truth be told, there's not a lot to tell. which is not the same as not a lot going on.

work is insane, but there's no point in bitching about it. i've decided i don't hate my job. but i am frustrated by it, and there are things that are suckage to the nth degree, but it's a job. were it not a job, it would be fun. okay, so i'm not doing something i love (insert little popping hearts and cornball soundtrack here) but i need to figure out what that is.

ok, so my job is keeping me from figuring that out. whatever - that's more than enough about work.

other things are busy - took a couple of turning courses. more about those will be posted.

continue to have health complications. gout continues to be a problem. gout medication has turned into a problem. i'm anemic enough i should be dead. ironically i'm often told i look like i am dead. due to this, i'm somewhat lethargic and apathetic except when my boss uses a cattle prod. the work boss - but enough about work. and enough about health.

so what to talk about then? there's always the weather......

i know, a week out of date, and already done by others, but i was speaking with a work acquaintance who lives in toronto, and it made the front page of the newspaper. the last time i remember that happening was almost 20 years ago - when we had a chinook in february. the photo that ran on the front pages was a group of people out playing baseball in shorts and t-shirts, in february, in 2 feet of snow.

you'll understand when you see the photos.

so... the scenario. a pleasant wednesday, mid-may heading toward the end of may. nice and warm - about 12*C (54F). look out the window about 1:30 headed for bed - and notice it's snowing. lightly. wake up the next morning (thursday) - to 8 inches of snow. heavy snow. ugly snow. lots of tree damage throughout the city. shake the trees. shovel the sidewalk and the car. head to work. return home 9 hours later - to green grass. friday we're back to 18*C (64F).

from the front door leaving for work

what used to be a 10 foot hedge
(now about 3 feet)

branch that used to be about 12 feet above the slide
in the park next door

closer photo of the same park
(same day - about 9 hours later)

arrived home from work

i guess you could call our weather a forecast of huh? with some occasional flurries of wtf?!

vista....

my opinion? run away screaming.

it's late, so i'm going to keep this short. it's not that i don't like vista. they've done some nice things. i like the new interface. some great features. but......

i tried upgrading my home system to vista this weekend. my home system is a p4 2.4ghz processor - about 4 years old. i have a gig of ram. the pre-install check told me it would install with most of the bells and whistles, an "experience" marker of 3.4 - same as my work machine. however the limitation at work is a shitty graphics card. the limitation at home is an older processor and a lack of ram.

yes - it makes a big difference. yes - sucks to be me.

if you don't have a new machine (core 2 duo) i would suggest waiting. if you have an n-vidia card, i would also suggest waiting (don't think they've ironed out all of their driver problems.) and speaking of problems - if you use a decent amount of software (that isn't made by microsoft) i would suggest holding off until they have a vista version.

which probably means upgrading to a new version. on top of upgrading your hardware.

after 3 days of random lockups. bsod's. and other assorted errors i can't name (tough when you turn your monitor on and your computer has locked up with no display) we're going home.

back to windows xp.

at least until i buy a new computer - then i'm left with no choice since they all ship with vista now.

that's progress, i guess.

haunted....

i find myself haunted. haunted by the funeral of someone i didn't know.

my brother-in-law's brother passed away last friday. although he and my sister have been together for many years, i don't believe i've ever met his brother. came close once, but something came up and he didn't make it to the family holiday dinner that round. from what i've heard, he was an extremely interesting man, and would have been someone to meet.

he had just turned 20.

but that's not what haunts me.

it was a jewish burial ceremony (yizkor). complicated because of the timing coinciding with passover. a simple coffin (not the one pictured above.) a large gathering of family and friends. recitation of the 23rd psalm in hebrew and english, recitation of the 1st psalm in hebrew and english, some words from the rabbi, remembrances by two friends, and then by the immediate family (sister, mother, brother). after this the 'community' who had gathered to mourn was asked to follow behind the casket on foot to the burial location.

the grave, is filled. by hand. as part of the ceremony.

unlike all of the nice detached christian based funerals i've gone too where the man of god says a few words, you symbolically scatter a small handful of dirt on the coffin, and everyone goes away while they typically lower and fill the grave afterwards. or at least variations on this.

not so here.

and just to add some perspective, other than the rabbi and the immediate family (3 people) - the rest of the approximately 130 attendees were gentiles.

6 shovels. the community of mourners is requested to help fill the grave. the shovels are not passed from hand to hand, but layed down and picked up again. the coffin was lowered. the mourners proceeded to shovel. about 1/3 of the mourners appeared to be too freaked out to participate. several were close friends, and became extremely involved in the process.

i stepped up and did my part. and it stays with you. physically being involved with the actual burial is something i've never experienced before. it has a finality that is unshakable. perhaps it is part of the mourning and grieving process - a catharsis of sorts. but it continues to haunt me. even now, several weeks after.

after the grave was filled, another psalm was recited, and due to the fact that it was the passover season, no funerary prayers were said. everyone was then free to depart. everyone gathered, visited, expressed condolences, and departed.

but i'm sure everyone that was there, has left touched and changed.

because i know you miss me.....

and because this is basically just awesome....
(requires sound, and may take some time to load...)

for sale, one cat, cheap....

the next time someone tells you animals are dumb, or unable to communicate - i have a story for you.

the players: cat & "owner". (or depending on your perspective it could be "god" & servant, or me & he who fills my food dish and caters to my every whim.)

the scene: basement, corner, litter box with plastic mat.

the play: a shakespearean epic. part comedy, part tragedy. mostly comedy. depends on your perspective.

the title: piss on that.

act i. scene i.

i head downstairs to check e-mail. the cat follows. i pass by the litter box, and keep going. the cat pauses, looks at the litter box, looks at me, meows dramatically. i look back.

"tomorrow, alright?" i say, "i'm tired. i'll clean it tomorrow."

"rowrrrrrrr" he replies.

"no. tomorrow." i answer firmly.

i get 'the look'.

act i. scene ii.

the cat enters the litter box. looks at me. looks at the litter box. meows. meows again to ensure he has my attention. keeps eye contact.

proceeds to pee. on the wall. on the plastic under the litter box. on the carpet just to the side of the plastic liner. maintains eye contact. hits everything within range, except the litter box he is standing in the middle of.

cats steps out of the litter box, shakes the dust off his paws, and with a disdainful glance back at me walks away tail held high in the air.

act ii. scene i.
i raise my fists in the air, and scream. cursing the gods. in anger i hurl profanities at the sky.

i proceed to clean the litter box.

curtain falls.


note: the cat is not actually for sale. i love my cats. they are family. however, if you are looking for something high maintenance to look after - i have a brother i'm willing to let go cheaply ;)

absence makes the heart grow fungus....

haven't had much to say. things are way to strange the last while. i find myself surrounded by illness and death.

i'm still struggling to recover from the acute gout attack. my doctor threw a massive prescription at it, and then extended it (and added another) when the swelling hadn't gone down after a week. a second week took care of most of it, however once i tapered off the prednesone, i've had some swelling come back. bad enough i could hardly walk on it yesterday.

on top of that, a good friend of mine is in town visiting one of his best friends who was recently diagnosed with brain cancer and given almost no time. only knew him as an acquaintance, but a nice guy. a good guy. about the same age. holy shit.

the kicker though was the 9am phone call this morning - where i found out my brother in-law's brother passed away yesterday. just turned 30.

stunned. that's all i can say.

i am totally fucking stunned.

down and out....

somehow the fun never seems to stop.

for about a week and a half i've been down with an acute case of gout that flared to fullness on the weekend. hobbled in to see my doctor and am on a new dose of medication, at home with my foot in the air, chained to work by my blackberry.

i will likely post when my thoughts become more than ow, ow, oww, ouch, ow, hobble, hobble, stub, wimper, ouch. owie.


on a side note: the rod stewart concert was pretty damn good. my favorite part was when he cut the second song about 2 lines in, started laughing, looked at the audience and said "sorry, i fucked up". restarted the song and off we went..... not sure if that's confidence, or the knowledge that he had all of our money in his pocket already.

a quick question....

what's better than concert tickets to see rod stewart?

free concert tickets to see rod stewart.

and i'm off to the concert. be thinking of you all. alone at home. reading this.

enough already....

i don't believe in burning bridges, but i'd be lying today if i said i didn't wish that i pissed gasoline and that i could shoot sparks when i snap my fingers.

knowledge is power....

having knowledge of something, does not necessarily give you power over it.

root of all evil....

they say all it takes is money. too bad i don't have any.

truth....

the fear of failing prevents me from beginning.

now, where was i......

i can't begin to tell you what things have been like lately, without sounding like a whiny broken record - especially about work. hence the lack of posts. combined with the lack of time. suffice it to say, i've had some indicators that this has not been my best week:

• like a sign from the devil, as i walked up the stairs toward the office today i found a little white tube sitting on a stair. i picked it up. i fondled it. i smelled it. i held it gently in a caress. i put it between my lips, closed my eyes, and inhaled. i imagined. i thought about lighting that fucker up. it's been 8 years since i last quit. i put it on a shelf above my desk and left it there. (actually, i forgot about it.)
  
• i required (yes, REQUIRED) a quad mocha from starbucks this morning. i actually spent $6 on a cup of coffee. yes, you got it.... four shots of espresso in a mochachino. it lasted less than 20 minutes in the cup. several hours in me :) :) :) :) :\ :\ :( :( :( :p :p :p
• laughing maniacally as i walk down the halls at work. often shortly after speaking to my manager - just as he's leaving the area. often for no real reason.
  
• spending more time with my department director than my family.
• massive projects with random deadlines and no resources (see... told you it would sound like a broken, whining record.....)
  

i've also been revamping another web-site in my spare time, and working on other interests.

however, i will leave you with a few reflections that relate to my last post:

• out of all the exchanges, the nurse got the last (and best shot in). as she was applying the dressing, she made the comment "guess what! you get a free ass wax."
• i felt like part of a sigfried and roy act when the packing came out - you pull, and pull, and pull... and it just kept coming.... all 6 feet of it. like magic.
  
• she was wrong. even after a week of taping dressings to my butt, it never got a full wax. hah! so there!
  
• the skin removed from the dressings was infinitely more painful than the incision. imagine a slightly painful x shaped incision surrounded by a square of scabbing skin and you'll know the good times you missed.
• life is funny. just as the back end starts to heal - i come down with a massive head cold.
  

yah, i know... time to spray lysol on your brain and scrub. take comfort in the fact that i will not be posting photos.

more later when i've recovered from the last two weeks of hell.

madcap recap....

oh yeah... happy anniversary - it's been a year. the post you've really been waiting for follows this one below.

flashback. madcap recap:

the start:

• intention: reflection and personal growth. that was part of the reason for starting this blog. (well, that and providing technical support to someone else who had just started blogging - since i had never seen it, i needed to sign up.)
• reality: that kind of shit takes time, and space, and quiet - and frankly between home with a 3 year old, hours of driving in traffic, and a job that... well, leaves no time for anything other than panic - it hasn't happened. it needs to, it just hasn't happened. besides, it's work.

personal:

• meh. had a good vacation :) [click here to read about it - but it is long]
• personal growth: nah - mostly covered that.
• survived another year of work - barely. since the major benefit of my medical plan is that it covers the two drugs i need to control my stress induced hypertension..... well.... you get the picture. (you can lookup the labels suckage, job, interviews, and anger management - they'll probably cover mostly work.) edit: i take that back - suckage turned out to mostly be me just whining about my personal life.
  

medical (you know... the fun stuff):

• july 2006 - vasectomy. i spend the morning with an old polish doctor with ice cold hands cupping my testicles. am pronounced sterile 6 months later.... 6 months. The average is supposed to be 30 days, or you can "assist" by spanking the monkey around 20 times to clean the system out. apparently i was "quite fertile" according to the doc', because i slapped that little furry bastard around almost daily for those 6 months. i almost cried from relief when the test finally came back clear.
• september 2006 - dislocated shoulder. let's just go with fuck that hurt. and was of course two weeks before my vacation. thankfully i was out of the sling and able to drive.
• october-december 2006. colds. flus. various illnesses. some we seem to have brought back from the states. others i traded at work. everyone in the house sick at the same time. various times. culminating in a bout of hacking so bad i almost barfed up a lung on my manager. luckily i got to skip a bunch of budget meetings because i was contagious.
• december 2006 - minor chemical burn in the left eye. i don't think blogged about this one... but in going to prep my mom's christmas gift, i had an issue where i went to mix some old primer that had skinned over. the skin popped and i was splashed with oil based chemical goo from tip to tail. after running the eye under water for an hour while waiting on the phone to speak with medical assistance, i was told to head to the emergency room. where i wound up with my eye under running water for another hour and a half, until someone had a chance to drop by and see me. minor chemical burn - put these eye drops in for the next 3 days, and try to be less stupid next time. yes, paraphrased, but not by much.

which leads us to this episode......

an ode to my ass....

this may be somewhat rude and offensive - in more ways than one. i'll let you decide if i opted to go for "blood & gore" or funny..... hell, once the percodan wears off, i likely won't remember just what the hell happened here anyway.

oh, most beautiful, and under appreciated appendage. no wait... it's not really an appendage, is it? oh, most beautiful, and under appreciated anatomy.....
my ass, which feels like raw fucking hamburger.
x marks the spot where they did plunder.
where the fucks my drugs.
ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch.....

do you really want to hear more? onward then......

to digress, someone i worked with once asked me where all the pretty nurses are. i'll explain that so it makes more sense. i work at a school, that offers nursing as one of it's undergraduate degrees. most of them aren't too hard on the eyes. yet experience has shown that there are many a nurse out in the field that have sucked lemons for a long, long time.

i think of it like part of the speech my wife's grandfather gave at our wedding.... "i've been to many weddings. and at every one, there's always been a toast to the beautiful bride....." (here he paused for dramatic effect, as you could see many women almost in tears at this point) ".... it makes me wonder where all the ugly housewives come from." ah grandpa.... the tears sure disappeared pretty fast.

but i digress....

i seem to have located the cute nurses. they were all gathered around my fat, hairy ass on tuesday. thankfully, i couldn't see anyone's expression, as i was lying face down on the bed whilst the doctor carved a large 'X' into my ass.

X marks the spot. here there be treasure? treasure is also known as booty. a large X carved in my booty. is cosmic karma fucking with me? argh....

where was i? oh yes, digressing.

i was suffering from a pilonidal cyst. this one was particularly bad. after a couple days of it slowly getting worse, i hit the walk-in medical clinic for some antibiotics - which have minimal effect. they seemed just as happy i knew what it was, and would be following up with my doctor. no one even bothered to look at it. they handed me some antibiotics, and shooed me out the door.

it kept getting worse, so i followed up with my doctor. what can i say... the man gets the bad end of it in all of our visits. his assessment was it needed to be lanced. they phoned the emergency room, and sent me off.

now, if you can imagine sitting on an infected abscess the size of a plum, buried just off centre by your tail bone, oozing bloody pus - you can imagine the irony of diving yourself to emergency, and paying to park while you will now spend hours sitting in a waiting room. it's also wildly exciting to be expected when you walk in to emergency because your doctor was kind enough to call ahead. thankfully - this part was short. after an hour, i was in a bed in the minor treatment area.

of course, the short line in the waiting area was an anomoly that was made up for in the treatment area.

cute little nurse shows me to a bed. hands me a gown. and then says she'll be back after i've changed. 'everything?' i asked, knowing it was likely to be a bit of a wait. 'yes' she answered, followed by 'the opening goes in the back' as she walked away. sigh. i didn't see anyone for almost 2 hours after that. dear god... there really are people that put them on wrong, aren't there.

i left my socks on. i also donated a couple bucks on the way out so they can afford some heat. i paced. i wandered to the bathroom every half hour to break up the monotony. i read the only book i had around at work.... dale carnegie's how to enjoy your life and your job.

at around the two hour mark lying on my side in the hospital bed, a second nurse (also cute) rolled up a tray with a bunch of surgical tools and mumbled something about it not being long. i assumed at the time, she meant the wait. but it was cold, and those gowns are thin, and she might have been referring to something else. i don't know. i didn't care.

funny, there's no mention of spending 5 hours being ignores and freezing in emergency at the hospital in a drafty gown. i finished the book and checked in the index. no hospital entries.

3 1/2 hours into the bed wait (4 1/2 hours total now) i managed to flag the original nurse down as she walked by... and bless her little heart... she realized i'd been forgotten about. up went the end of the bed and out came a blanket. to be honest, i just wanted to know if i could slip down to the cafeteria for some lunch if the wait was going to be much longer. nope.... as luck would have it, i was up next.

which was good, because after staring at the surgical tray for the last hour, i was starting to think i had accidentally ordered the do-it-yourself kit. but was bad, because they were going to freeze and cut when i hadn't eaten in 9 hours and was getting shaky.

finally the doctor shows up. i warn him about my not taking freezing very well.... i think he was humouring me, but he doubled up the freezing. and he even went out for more..... accidentally leaving the curtains wide open with my heine out enjoying the cool evening breeze, and on display for anyone walking through the ward.

"this isn't going to be fun" he says, proceeding to shove a needle full of local anesthetic into my backside in a dozen random locations. and it wasn't. although.... oddly, it was better than many days at work.

i'll admit, i was thankful that the freezing took. he seemed to spend a fair amount of time cutting, and i was somewhat startled when i heard him say "finally, there it is...." large, deep, hard to find pocket. and then began the fun. spray of water. and the doctor using his weight to get leverage and squeeze. and squeeze. and squeeze. and dig. and squeeze.

queue the cute nurses at this point. one of whom notices the curtain partly open to the public, and opts to close it so that only paid medical staff have to suffer cornea damage and scarring. at this point it is 'clean' and drained, and so that it heals properly they are going to stuff it full of packing material so it starts to heal from the inside out.

what i hear is "more. no, more. no, i'm going to need more." when i turn my head what i see is the nurse pulling packing out of a container an arm's length at a time. it's like a woven gauze, about 1/2 an inch in width, and green. the doc then proceeds to stuff this into the open wound - fitting 6 feet. as the freezing begins to come out. joy.

so for 36 hours i had to have that packing in place. they threw a dressing on, and told me to change it thursday when i removed the packing, unless it soaked through before then.

and then they offered additional dressing, percocet, and a sheet on after care for the wound. i sat forgotten again, until one of them noticed me out of the corner of their eye. handing me the percocet they told me i was free. i guess out of those last 3 items, i got the right one. free. free!

i hobbled out of emergency, and through the hospital to the car. collapsed in the car and laughed bitterly when as i shelled out the 10 bucks for parking. i headed home.

i crawled in the door and collapsed. feeling odd, i decided to check the dressing - and realized i had blood soaking through the dressing, 4 layers of clothing, and into the car upholstery.

so much for thursday.

abcess makes the heart grow fonder.....

excuse my absence for the last couple days... it's been a looooooong weekend, culminating in a five hour wait at the emergency room today.

i was going to blog about the movie and pre-movie entertainment i experienced friday, but now that may be postponed in deference to a blog involving local anesthetics, my butt, and a scalpel.

since tomorrow is my one year (holy crap, this is all your fault okami!) anniversary blog-iversary, i'll let you vote :)

blood and gore, or amusement beyond belief?

it's in your hands.

violated.....

victimized. my truck was ransacked last night. i parked it in the alley while i unloaded something into the garage through the side door, and then got sidetracked for a bit. when i went back out to move the truck, something seemed odd......

i didn't leave the glove box open. shit.

the seat was covered in detritus. slowly i started pawing through the mess to put stuff away.... afraid of what i would find, or wouldn't.

wait a minute - check the visor - insurance and registration are gone. shit. no... wait... there it is in the pile on the seat.

garage door opener? still there. tape converter for mp3 player? no? yup there it is. 8 year old street maps - check. 10 year old beat up tape measure - check. sunglasses - check. 15 cents change in the ashtray - check. flashlight with dead batteries - still here. led windup flashlight because the other one has dead batteries? there it is. screwdriver - check. band saw blades - check. damage? none i can find. small favours. booster cables - check. socket set - no..... shit. no, wait... i needed them in the house when i had to replace the furnace motor.

wtf? what were they looking for? ipod? blackberry? cd's? money? in a rusted out '91 junker? in a japanese car whose locks are so worn you can use a popsicle stick to open the door?

i'm not sure what i'm more embarrassed about - the fact that i didn't lock the door, and so invited this to happen, the fact that i only noticed because it was marginally cleaner than before they rifled the contents, or the fact that i don't have anything worth stealing. (and i'll argue that you shouldn't have to lock your doors - most people would have respected that, or may have busted the window if it was locked.)

it took about an hour, but i finally figured out what was missing - they stole some cheap kc pro multi-tool knockoff from home depot that wasn't even mine. worth less than most of what they did take.

if you want crime to pay, i think you have to be smarter than this idiot - or pick your targets better.

so now i have a clean truck (they pulled out all the garbage that had collected under the seats), and had an enjoyable night to boot.

----
image from: plig.org/things/pictures/tn/Cape%20Town.jpg.html

a little ditty....

la-tee-da-da-da-da
la-tee-da-da-da-da
la-tee-daaaaaaa-daaaaaaaaa dear messiah........
la-tee-da-da-da-da


ah, fuck it.
it's just another day.

public service announcement....

to all of you that are afraid to use your credit cards, or anything other than cash - because the government, the "man" is out to get you, listen very closely....

unless you are a terrorist, or really are doing something highly illegal and unethical.....

you are fucking deluded. you are not that interesting. get over it.

we now return you to your regular program.

vacation.... part 4our (the final installment)

the long drive home..... 3 months late.

short version: got in the car, drove. went through customs. drove. stopped overnight. drove more. got home, so i stopped driving.

full version:
day 10en: we spent the morning at pike place market, a fabulous market. if you've never been, and have the chance, i highly recommend it. at then end of it all, we bought a bag of hot, fresh roasted, salted cashew and hit the road toward home.

we picked up the i5 and drove down to the 250, from the 250 to the 252, and then onward until we met up with the 2. (if you have no clue what the hell i'm talking about, that's fine - because neither do i. damn highways proliferate like a pot of wet noodles flung across the floor. you'll have to grab a map and figure it out.) at last, after hours and hours and hours of driving (at least an hour) we came to beautiful downtown wenatchee, where we threw ourselves upon the mercy of the local super 8 motel.

thankfully they accept visa. problem solved. however it turned out we were somewhere in washington... damn. guess i didn't drive far enough. oh well. there's always tomorrow.

what's there to do in wenatchee? well.... here's what they have to say about the beautiful city of wenatchee: "wenatchee is world famous for our apples but it has so much else to offer.... one of the most digitally connected places in the country..."

after a night of sleep, it was another day.

day 11even: holy shit - the highway never ends. just keeps rolling. kilometre upon kilom... sorry, miles upon miles of blacktop. i keep forgetting the kilometres of blacktop are still across the border. Kept on driving that number 2 highway....

eventually we came to the border. rolled up, passports at the ready - it's always been easier to cross with passports, even before they became mandatory. roll up to the custom's officer and...

where you headed? home.
how long you been down in the states? about 4 days.
anything to declare? 32 tins of altoid ginger mints.
pardon? 32 tins of altoid ginger mints.

keep in mind, this whole time, i've had my hand sticking out the window of the car, waving our passports at this guy. he studiously ignored them. it didn't seem to matter how hard i waved them - he couldn't have cared less.

have a nice drive home. please drive on.

still waving the passports... he won't take them. fer fuck sakes buddy - after the cost and hassle of getting these damn things - look at them. thankfully, my inside voice stayed inside where it belonged, and i slowly accelerated forward. still waving the passports of course.

welcome to osoyoos, home of canada's only desert. that's right... just across the river, by one of canada's warmest lakes year round, is canada's only desert. things of interest: model t truck, fully restored coming back from a car show down in wenatchee (almost ironic) and a sculpture apparently demonstrating the dangers of drowning in our desert region.

as nice as the weather looks, the owners were
bundled up in full winter gear, as the truck has the
original heating system - none.

Back in the car and onto the number 3 highway eastbound. we stopped in beautiful downtown castlegar, where we had an incredible view from our room's window.
and yes, it was fun. staff stopped to watch, as laying fully flat on my back i picked up enough speed and momentum to shoot 25 feet out into the pool and make a hell of a splash. i did it until my not too healed, previously dislocated shoulder started to complain. (then i did it a couple more times to teach it who was boss.)

morning dawned to find us seeking yet another complimentary continental breakfast. although this one was a nice surprise - as they had waffle machines, hard boiled eggs, and a couple other additions to the spread that were a welcome change.

we took off as early as possible to get home at a decent hour, and headed up the 93/95 through radium and invemere to meet up with the trans-canada highway (no 1). one of the fun things about this area was the continental divide - the point where water stop flowing to the west, and starts flowing to the east.


and an area that had previously been devastated by forest fire, and was beginning to grow back. stopping to read the information was quite sobering - as i had mistaken how recent the fire was. by a lot.



and finally to home. where much to my dismay, i finally discovered the cause of the shredded engine belt that we had discovered shortly out of seattle. someone at the factory that had refurbished my nice shiny alternator i put in mere days before leaving, had put the wrong pulley on. thankfully the guy at the parts area just shook his head and handed me a new belt and alternator. warranty - you are a good thing.

note how the belt doesn't actually fit when
seated properly on the side. the car had been serviced
by mechanics who replaced the water pump after i changed
out the alternator.... since the belt has to come off
you think they might have noticed.

of course, at this point - arriving home - i decided i needed a vacation to recover from my vacation.