haunted....

i find myself haunted. haunted by the funeral of someone i didn't know.

my brother-in-law's brother passed away last friday. although he and my sister have been together for many years, i don't believe i've ever met his brother. came close once, but something came up and he didn't make it to the family holiday dinner that round. from what i've heard, he was an extremely interesting man, and would have been someone to meet.

he had just turned 20.

but that's not what haunts me.

it was a jewish burial ceremony (yizkor). complicated because of the timing coinciding with passover. a simple coffin (not the one pictured above.) a large gathering of family and friends. recitation of the 23rd psalm in hebrew and english, recitation of the 1st psalm in hebrew and english, some words from the rabbi, remembrances by two friends, and then by the immediate family (sister, mother, brother). after this the 'community' who had gathered to mourn was asked to follow behind the casket on foot to the burial location.

the grave, is filled. by hand. as part of the ceremony.

unlike all of the nice detached christian based funerals i've gone too where the man of god says a few words, you symbolically scatter a small handful of dirt on the coffin, and everyone goes away while they typically lower and fill the grave afterwards. or at least variations on this.

not so here.

and just to add some perspective, other than the rabbi and the immediate family (3 people) - the rest of the approximately 130 attendees were gentiles.

6 shovels. the community of mourners is requested to help fill the grave. the shovels are not passed from hand to hand, but layed down and picked up again. the coffin was lowered. the mourners proceeded to shovel. about 1/3 of the mourners appeared to be too freaked out to participate. several were close friends, and became extremely involved in the process.

i stepped up and did my part. and it stays with you. physically being involved with the actual burial is something i've never experienced before. it has a finality that is unshakable. perhaps it is part of the mourning and grieving process - a catharsis of sorts. but it continues to haunt me. even now, several weeks after.

after the grave was filled, another psalm was recited, and due to the fact that it was the passover season, no funerary prayers were said. everyone was then free to depart. everyone gathered, visited, expressed condolences, and departed.

but i'm sure everyone that was there, has left touched and changed.

because i know you miss me.....

and because this is basically just awesome....
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for sale, one cat, cheap....

the next time someone tells you animals are dumb, or unable to communicate - i have a story for you.

the players: cat & "owner". (or depending on your perspective it could be "god" & servant, or me & he who fills my food dish and caters to my every whim.)

the scene: basement, corner, litter box with plastic mat.

the play: a shakespearean epic. part comedy, part tragedy. mostly comedy. depends on your perspective.

the title: piss on that.

act i. scene i.

i head downstairs to check e-mail. the cat follows. i pass by the litter box, and keep going. the cat pauses, looks at the litter box, looks at me, meows dramatically. i look back.

"tomorrow, alright?" i say, "i'm tired. i'll clean it tomorrow."

"rowrrrrrrr" he replies.

"no. tomorrow." i answer firmly.

i get 'the look'.

act i. scene ii.

the cat enters the litter box. looks at me. looks at the litter box. meows. meows again to ensure he has my attention. keeps eye contact.

proceeds to pee. on the wall. on the plastic under the litter box. on the carpet just to the side of the plastic liner. maintains eye contact. hits everything within range, except the litter box he is standing in the middle of.

cats steps out of the litter box, shakes the dust off his paws, and with a disdainful glance back at me walks away tail held high in the air.

act ii. scene i.
i raise my fists in the air, and scream. cursing the gods. in anger i hurl profanities at the sky.

i proceed to clean the litter box.

curtain falls.


note: the cat is not actually for sale. i love my cats. they are family. however, if you are looking for something high maintenance to look after - i have a brother i'm willing to let go cheaply ;)