irony....

having survived 2 days last week of the nastiest stomach flu i've had in years, i find myself sitting alone, contemplating at work today.

i say alone, because everyone else in my section has called in sick, with..... you guessed it.

there's a subtle irony here, that i just can't appreciate. maybe down the line, but i have my doubts.


** i swear your honour, i didn't know i was contagious - it hit me at 5am.... and i was over it when i came back to work....... damnit.

life....

sometimes life hands you material, and you don't have to do any work at all.

i look forward to the rest of this particular series.

and since i've been lazy lately, i'll throw this one in for free.....


yup, this is an actual sign... from a computer service business somewhere in seattle.

remiss.....

friends, my apologies. i've been remiss in my posts lately. just a short update....

• i quit my job, but took another position in the same department, but a different section. this should be an improvement.
• i wound up as acting village idiot for my last month, and had two major projects dumped on me. i near killed myself getting them done (39 hours of overtime in less than 2 weeks.)
• i did not in fact get them completely done, and am somehow fine with that. (i actually left halfway through one, and am not sure how it fared)
• i have thought of work very little over the last couple of days. i don't miss it at all.

oh yes... i guess i should mention, i'm on holidays for the entire month of december. unused vacation time that was mandatory to take due to company policy. have tons of accumulated overtime as well.

i got out of dodge the first three days, and have spent the last couple catching up on errands. hopefully another week will see me mostly caught up - i'd desperately love a week between catch-up and christmas.

we'll see how it goes.

happy holidays if i don't make it back as planned. the new year looks promising.

the rubicon....

so.... the die is cast. i demanded to be demoted. it went fairly well i think - turns out it was somewhat expected. at least my direct supervisor didn't try to bullshit me. he admits it will take a long time to fix most of the reasons i am quitting this position over.

so i interviewed for another position - not one where i expected, but one i can live with. i've worked with the person who will be my new direct supervisor as an equal for 3 years now. the catch? well..... i'm "acting" supervisor until they can locate a replacement.

that's been a month now. officially, i changed positions on november 1st. what's changed? well.... nothing. as you can tell since i am sitting at work eating a re-re-reheated chicken chimichanga for dinner trying to meet a deadline some manager who went home at 4:30 picked.

happy? oh yeah... fucking ecstatic.

not to mention on top of cramming two major projects into a month, i now lose time in the interview process. yup... you guessed it - i'm expected to sit on interviews and help hire my replacement. the last 4 interview sets i went to, i was the only person to show up with a set of questions (which everyone then photocopied and took my best questions.)

is it smart having me on the hiring committee? maybe. sure, i'm responsible.... but i'm at the point of "breathing? can tie their own shoes? FUCK! what are you waiting for... hire them.

of course, i may have put them under the gun.... got the nag letter from human resources about overtime and holiday time that has to be used by the end of the year. so... i'll be gone during the month of december, and possibly january to boot to try and use all my time.

of course.... the fact that i'm sitting here earning time and a half on a project that has many more nights like this one isn't helping.

maybe i'll see everyone in march :)

if i don't have a stroke trying to get there :(

limbo.....

ok.... so while not yet dancing for joy, we've come a little closer. here's the story so far....

having become totally fed up with my job, and at the suggestion of several friends, co-workers, and my better half, i began to seriously consider seeking employment elsewhere. one final straw led me from considering it, to actively looking at optional opportunities on-line.

i opted to see if i could demote myself, as it looked like a position of interest was about to become available. so being unable to resist a dramatic moment, at the end of the day i handed my immediate supervisor a sealed envelope, and parted with the works "we have to talk tomorrow" and watched as they went pale. a short discussion ensued. the request was not a big surprise, and it looked like there were going to be some options.

fast forward to today. today, i had an interview. it was mostly an informal discussion about the transition. the available spot isn't in the area i thought it would be, but may be moved or altered. either one is acceptable. there will be a period of continuing to act in existing capacity, followed by a period of transition while i bring the new sucker up to speed, followed by a period where we determine what my job will actually be. i get to keep the same level of pay, and get to avoid another six month probationary period.

so where does this leave me? in limbo..... in order to advertise the position i am vacating, i have to officially resign. to finish off the application, resume, interview requirements i had to submit my references so they can wrap things up and offer me the position. i also had to submit my letter of resignation.

so as it stands, i have officially resigned, but not officially received an offer. ironically, i've been here before.

i figure in the end, no matter how it turns out, it will be better than continuing as it was. at the worst, i have to find another job - in a city where there is a severe shortage of qualified people. but i'm sure things will work out. they always seem to, no matter what.

today....

after starting the day barely able to walk in the doors at work or keep myself together, much less discuss anything with a co-worker (and not feel like falling apart - indeed, almost falling apart publicly), i am much happier this evening.

more details will be forthcoming, once i am able to iron them out from possibility/probability to actuality.

(no pills were consumed in the production of said happiness.)

"living"....

my life, is ruled by fear. anxiety. desperation. trapped, i stand on a ledge. unable to move, lest i fall. as twilight turns to dusk, and then to blackness. i wait for the stars to appear - light and salvation both. there is nothing but dark storm clouds that race across the sky. frozen i stand on the precipice as the storm breaks around me every fibre of my being screams at me to jump - that my only chance of survival is to close my eyes and take that leap. and so, i stand here. paralyzed. and live. completely immobilized. in fear.

the sad reality....

somehow, it strikes me as sad, that when my official day ends at 4:30 pm, that i am only now returning home at 10:00 pm.

another fabulous project. another wonderful cluster fuck from hell.

remiss....

i must admit, i've been remiss with my posting schedule. truth be told, there's not a lot to tell. which is not the same as not a lot going on.

work is insane, but there's no point in bitching about it. i've decided i don't hate my job. but i am frustrated by it, and there are things that are suckage to the nth degree, but it's a job. were it not a job, it would be fun. okay, so i'm not doing something i love (insert little popping hearts and cornball soundtrack here) but i need to figure out what that is.

ok, so my job is keeping me from figuring that out. whatever - that's more than enough about work.

other things are busy - took a couple of turning courses. more about those will be posted.

continue to have health complications. gout continues to be a problem. gout medication has turned into a problem. i'm anemic enough i should be dead. ironically i'm often told i look like i am dead. due to this, i'm somewhat lethargic and apathetic except when my boss uses a cattle prod. the work boss - but enough about work. and enough about health.

so what to talk about then? there's always the weather......

i know, a week out of date, and already done by others, but i was speaking with a work acquaintance who lives in toronto, and it made the front page of the newspaper. the last time i remember that happening was almost 20 years ago - when we had a chinook in february. the photo that ran on the front pages was a group of people out playing baseball in shorts and t-shirts, in february, in 2 feet of snow.

you'll understand when you see the photos.

so... the scenario. a pleasant wednesday, mid-may heading toward the end of may. nice and warm - about 12*C (54F). look out the window about 1:30 headed for bed - and notice it's snowing. lightly. wake up the next morning (thursday) - to 8 inches of snow. heavy snow. ugly snow. lots of tree damage throughout the city. shake the trees. shovel the sidewalk and the car. head to work. return home 9 hours later - to green grass. friday we're back to 18*C (64F).

from the front door leaving for work

what used to be a 10 foot hedge
(now about 3 feet)

branch that used to be about 12 feet above the slide
in the park next door

closer photo of the same park
(same day - about 9 hours later)

arrived home from work

i guess you could call our weather a forecast of huh? with some occasional flurries of wtf?!

enough already....

i don't believe in burning bridges, but i'd be lying today if i said i didn't wish that i pissed gasoline and that i could shoot sparks when i snap my fingers.

now, where was i......

i can't begin to tell you what things have been like lately, without sounding like a whiny broken record - especially about work. hence the lack of posts. combined with the lack of time. suffice it to say, i've had some indicators that this has not been my best week:

• like a sign from the devil, as i walked up the stairs toward the office today i found a little white tube sitting on a stair. i picked it up. i fondled it. i smelled it. i held it gently in a caress. i put it between my lips, closed my eyes, and inhaled. i imagined. i thought about lighting that fucker up. it's been 8 years since i last quit. i put it on a shelf above my desk and left it there. (actually, i forgot about it.)
  
• i required (yes, REQUIRED) a quad mocha from starbucks this morning. i actually spent $6 on a cup of coffee. yes, you got it.... four shots of espresso in a mochachino. it lasted less than 20 minutes in the cup. several hours in me :) :) :) :) :\ :\ :( :( :( :p :p :p
• laughing maniacally as i walk down the halls at work. often shortly after speaking to my manager - just as he's leaving the area. often for no real reason.
  
• spending more time with my department director than my family.
• massive projects with random deadlines and no resources (see... told you it would sound like a broken, whining record.....)
  

i've also been revamping another web-site in my spare time, and working on other interests.

however, i will leave you with a few reflections that relate to my last post:

• out of all the exchanges, the nurse got the last (and best shot in). as she was applying the dressing, she made the comment "guess what! you get a free ass wax."
• i felt like part of a sigfried and roy act when the packing came out - you pull, and pull, and pull... and it just kept coming.... all 6 feet of it. like magic.
  
• she was wrong. even after a week of taping dressings to my butt, it never got a full wax. hah! so there!
  
• the skin removed from the dressings was infinitely more painful than the incision. imagine a slightly painful x shaped incision surrounded by a square of scabbing skin and you'll know the good times you missed.
• life is funny. just as the back end starts to heal - i come down with a massive head cold.
  

yah, i know... time to spray lysol on your brain and scrub. take comfort in the fact that i will not be posting photos.

more later when i've recovered from the last two weeks of hell.

organimized....

warning... geek oriented post. proceed at your own risk.

my biggest challenge with everything going on (especially at work) is being able to remember and organize it.

i had a friend suggest a wiki. but most of those require a server backend of some type. although there are now several free online wikis available that have recently become available - and google bought out jot, which was supposed to be a really great pay service that should now become free when they finish merging the technology. eventually. a couple i ran across that are free (because they advertise inside your wiki) can be found here. i haven't tried these, but if you're interested....

• http://www.xwiki.com
• http://www.schtuff.com

for a while i was using wikidpad - a windows based program that was self contained, and generated a wiki that was easy to access. the problem then of course became accessing the files from more than one spot.

the same friend also recommended a book he had heard about called 'getting things done' (hereafter referred to as "gtd") by david allen. i bought it, and it seems interesting - i've been meaning to get into it in my spare time at work. it uses a couple of basic organization concepts to help streamline the mess. wikidpad had a 'to do' style plugin to assist in the gtd style which was nice.

imagine the thrill i felt when i was hunting through personal wikis a couple days ago, when i discovered tiddlywiki. a single page application based wiki. and cool too. go look. play. check out the javascript in the source code. it'll make your head spin. to be honest i think i skipped it when i was first looking because it uses 'tiddlers' - which made me sort of shake my head. i'm glad i went back and took a second look.

then i found a version based on tiddlywiki called monkeygtd. monkeygtd is a version that uses a set of gtd plugins, and has been designed for projects. bliss. nirvana. and if you don't like monkeygtd, try d3 - a kinkless based gtd (kinkless being a set of applescripts for creating a gtd framwork in omni outlinerpro on mac)

and then to top it off.... i discovered tiddlyspot. so what you ask.... tiddlyspot is a free hosting service that creates a tiddlywiki based wiki. no installation. update it online and offline. so as long as you have a net connection, you're good to go. and they have 6 basic templates - 2 of which are gtd oriented - monkeygtd & d3.

i think i just died and went to heaven.

i hope you'll join me

resumes..... (or stab myself in the eye with my pen)

my boring blogging of recent holidays will continue shortly, but tonight i spent over 4 hours going through a couple inches (literally) of hundreds of resumes for 2 job positions. joe, my friend, my heart goes out to you. i can't believe you do this shit for a living. by the end of it i wanted to stab myself in the eyes. but it did inspire this post.

some were interesting. there was one from someone who is brilliant. literal genius. mensa member. and almost impossible to read. not illegible, just made you work at it. the guy either has a sense of humour beyond the reach of the average man, or possibly doesn't understand why with such credentials formatting would be important.

trust me, it is. so i've put together a list of things you should think about. here are some things i think you should consider. i being someone who has to read through a crap load of resumes and is not a human resources person. ergo has other job duties that need to be done. yes, some of these may be "small" things, but trust me - when i hit resume number 150, it's enough to hit the automatic NO pile.

where i work, the manager, supervisor, and usually at least one person who works in the area is involved in the interview along with our human resources representative. all of these people (except oddly enough the hr person) goes through the resumes. in my case this is likely because information technology is an area that is.... well.... fairly technical. i can only assume that the hr person feels they are best qualified to concentrate on personal or general areas regarding potential candidates.

just in case you happen to be wondering how my mind works on these things: the last stack of resumes i went through, were sorted into:

• yes. definite short list.
• maybe. will re-review.
• meh. your resume didn't breathe enough of a spark to register.
• bwa-ha-ha-ha. your resume registered all right. for the wrong reasons.

this time is was "yes" and "meh". maybe i'm getting cynical. maybe i'm betting a better feel for the process. maybe i just prefer to spend my weekends with my family instead of plowing through whatever it was you sent in.

so.... here's my tips. in no order of preference or offense.

• don't fax the resume. they're fuzzy and harder to read than everyone else's. if you can't mail it (on decent quality paper) they likely have an e-mail address. our human resources department faithfully prints off your document, and attaches your submitting e-mail as the first page.
• if submitting by e-mail, keep in mind i may be seeing that e-mail as the first page. that includes your file titles, and e-mail address. as well as any stupid ass e-mail sig that you have. so "suckup.doc" is not a good cover letter file name. "jesus saves, allah forgives, cthulhu thinks you'd make a nice sandwich." probably not the best thing to have at the bottom of your mail. and for the hell of it, use a decent sounding e-mail address.
  
• if i'm hiring, say, a screwdriver turner - and you've got 20 years experience as a network administrator - why would you think i'd really consider you? you obviously a) are burnt out b) are totally useless/were just fired and are desperate c) are looking to fast track into the company and move up quickly. newsflash: i don't want to have to replace you again in 6 months, so i'm not going to interview you in the first place. don't make me waste paper and time on your resume.
• why would you list a web browser as software you're experienced on? i mean, hello?! sure.... they can cause issues and need to be configured, but seriously...
  
• does noting you are "a member of a visible minority." really work? first of all, your name probably indicates that already. secondly, so what? if you're not qualified, i'm not interested. if you are qualified, you just irritated me enough to drop your resume into the shredder.
• use consistent formatting. same bullets. same indentation. the same font. at the same size.
  
• read your resume out loud. spell check does not catch really stupid mistakes that are spelled correctly. for instance 'or' when you meant 'of'. it will also help you catch poor grammar, and other such things. if you can't say it easily - there's a problem.
• if you use the phrase "attention to detail" you better have done the two points listed above. or i laugh as i shred your resume.
• don't talk about yourself in the third person on your resume. maybe it's just personal, but i had more third person narrative style resumes this round than i've ever seen. i hated all of you.
• watch your bolding. AND YOUR ALL CAPITALS. if you bold much more than the job title in your cover letter, it makes it harder to read. DITTO ALL CAPS. AND IF YOU WANT TO GET ATTENTION THIS IS THE WRONG WAY TO DO IT. most people will read the cover letter, and general profile sections. it's the best way to get a quick feel. doing the above to make a point in one of the sections most people read will irritate. well, irritate me anyway. I CAN GET AWAY WITH IT HERE BECAUSE IT'S MY BLOG.
• bold however can be acceptable as part of a format (ie: section header, company/job title, etc.)
• make our resume easy to navigate. if i want to see your work experience, don't make me hunt for it - make sure it's easy to find.
  
• spend some time on a cover letter. many people will not look at the resume if the cover letter is either bad, or doesn't exist. it's your chance to sell yourself, and make a summary of pertinent information related to the job. do it. customize it.
• one of my favourites.... "full list of courses and training will be made available on request." if you can't be bothered, neither can i. buh-bye.
• using acronyms and obscure terms is bad. what your company refers to as a 'blidget' may be a 'gizmo' where i work. give some explanation so i know the context. no one knows everything - even within the same field. don't expect me to know (or look up) some title or technical "thing" you assume i should know. i may not. and i'm the guy who's hiring. well, probably not you. not unless you take the time to translate them into a frame of reference i will understand.
• remember sounding confident, and sounding cocky is a really fine line.
• and last but not least.... keep in mind that applying for every position may not be the best strategy. for the two we had posted, i think i had 20+ duplicate resumes. for very different jobs. some of which i remember seeing from the last position i was involved in hiring for. you're starting to look desperate. and you haven't been qualified for anything i've seen you apply for. now you look unqualified/overqualified and desperate.
  

somewhere i have a draft post i started in regards to interviewing. it's from the last two positions i was involved in hiring. i think it'll be time to dust it off after these next two.

time to call it a night. and to review the short list in the morning.

----
image: stolen from http://www.e-resume.net/
no affiliation or endorsement. (but if your resume sucks, or you lack people and writing skills they may be worth a look. just remember.... you still have to survive the interview.)

calm before the storm.....

i sit here, the night before i return to work after two weeks holidays, and i wonder......

what the hell am i thinking?

of course i don't want to go back.

deep breath. no need for a panic attack tonight. it's pointless. the bastards can't touch me until i walk through the doors tomorrow.

mommeeeeeeeeee!

i hurt myself. well, fuck - remember when i said i was waiting for that mystical "third"? because well all know shit happens in threes? well, fuck me - guess what......

this, is your shoulder....


and this, is your shoulder when you slip on the wet floor at work, fall like an ungainly swan doing an olympic dive in cement shoes, use your right arm to absorb the entire impact generated by your fall, and then stand up and realize......

fuck.... i can't move my arm. at all. and it hurts. A LOT.
you guessed it - dislocated my shoulder and spent the day at the hospital. morphine was my friend. now i sit here in an immobilization sling for the next 4-6 weeks.

should make work and holidays interesting. the workers comp paperwork sure was :P i ain't going in to work tomorrow.

grrrrrrr. can i go home yet?!

warning.....

just a quick warning.... i switched over to the new blogger beta.

i know... not sure what i was thinking. but just in case things are goofy, you'll know why (i mean other than the fact that i'm involved.) not sure if haloscan will work with the new templates - so i'm waiting to find out - because i couldn't figure it out myself. ditto blogroll. never mind, figured it out.

on an amusing side note.... i checked my google.mail and found the following message waiting:
10 signs that it’s time to look for a new job
(or 10 signs you need to light the building on fire and leave)

oddly enough, i would check off less than i thought.

perhaps i better re-read that tomorrow.

fuqit....

i took monday off. from everywhere. everbody. and everyone.

i'll post tomorrow.