awareness. or perhaps more accurately a lack of aforementioned awareness. i begin to wonder if this is a root. the root. primary cause. the great mover and shaker of my life.
at one point in my now sad and trivial existence, things were not always so. i think the change came when i sold my soul. shelved freedom. creativity. challenges. and accepted in it's place the tedious drudgery that entails the provision of "the steady paycheque." i have traded one type of prison for a prison that is even worse.
they don't call it the grind for nothing.
at some point after trading creativity and freedom for a steady paycheque i started focusing on the wrong things. or perhaps this trade was the point of no return - for it seems to me now, although not at the time it occurred, that to trade one's soul in such a way is an indication that one has already focussed on the wrong things.
surely there must be a way to conquer the north american expectation. demand. design. that one lives to work. surely there must be a way to right the wrongs and restore the balance. to bring oneself back from the precipice. to work to live.
nay. not only to work to live. but to have a life. an understanding. a definition. and a harmony with that life.
ultimately this requires being in touch with yourself. knowing yourself. being comfortable with yourself. accepting yourself.
time. time and awareness.
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3 months ago
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