good luck, bad luck...

luck is a funny thing. and i hate to tempt it. and i hate to complain about good luck.

but i found it funny. i had a goodbye lunch to go to a while ago for an employee that is leaving my department.

these always wind up being a big pile of money at the end on the table. it's impossible to get change, and somehow there always seems to be someone who takes advantage of it and doesn't pony up. or cover the tip.

so.... before i left, i wanted to break my $20. there's always a pile of $20's on the table, because everyone hits the bank machine on the way over. (i guess that's why they're sometimes referred to as yuppy food stamps.)

off i go to get a coffee. a nice even dollar. break the $20, leave me change for a tip. thought a little advance planning was a good thing.

and would you believe... today was the day the cashier decided to smile and wave me through. gave me a free coffee.

which left me right where i started. only slightly more bemused.

it turned out alright though.... this time management requested separate bills for everyone.

tagged....

ok, i've been tagged. twice actually, but since this is the easiest one, i'll do it first.
tagged by grant - hey buddy, let me know if this qualifies or if i have to set my hair on fire.

So here's a modified meme. Grab the nearest book, whatever it is, go to page 123, find the 4th sentence, and then type in the next five sentences.

And if you're gong to attempt to clear up a big backlog of e-mails staged in "in", you'll actually discover it's more efficient to process the last-in first because of all the discussion threads that accumulate on top of one another.

One Item at a Time
You may find you have a tendency, while processing your in-basket, to pick something up, not know exactly what you want to do about it, and then let your eyes wander onto another item farther down the stack and get engaged with it. That item may be more attractive to your psyche because you know right away what to do with it - and you dont' feel like thinking about what's in your hand. This is dangerous territory.

from Getting things Done, by David Allen

yay!

sometimes dilbert echoes my life so closely, it's frightening....

fer fuck sake....

argh. took lunch for the first time in two weeks.
blogged for the first time in two weeks.

and then wound up putting in two hours of overtime.

so much for getting my shit together.

sigh....

i just realized how long it's been since i've posted anything. and it's not that i have had nothing to say, it's just.... well.... i guess i haven't been able to figure out what, or how to say it. hopefully this doesn't just sound whiny - which was part of the concern.

someone asked the other day (after noticing a long absence) how i was. to use the words of an ex-boss of mine "couldn't be better."

to be honest, that was a sign to run. to be afraid. very, very afraid. no stopping, go like a bat out of hell, clear the area. warning: you are at ground zero.

so.... here's the truth. cf. charlie fox. or for those of you who are less timid: cluster fuck. some may be thinking life or work? shit. would you believe both?

work is work. there's not too much i can say that anyone wouldn't. short staffed. in the middle of interviews. heading into the busiest time of year. true nightmare time. just trust me, you don't want to read about all the crap at work. and that is exactly what most of that is: crap.

the tragedy, is i am still struggling to separate myself from work. to leave it there while i go home for the day. so to deal with it, i'm reading:

• power over stress, kenford nedd
• getting things done, david allen
• how to enjoy your life and your job, dale carnegie

i actually went to the presentation by kenford nedd - who was a fabulous speaker. but i've also learned when you're tired - you don't retain anything (well, maybe water, and part of that piece of pie for lunch, and maybe the beer. anyway....). the getting things done was suggested by someone who found it helpful to get work out of their head - as it's primary tenet is to write it down so you aren't spending time concentrating on not forgetting it. ok... i'm guessing, as in 2 weeks i've had enough time to get 14 pages in.

life is the problem. well... not the problem, becuase i'm pretty sure the solution to life is worse. however, it is challenging. and amusing.

first, the amusing: we had talked on the weekend about the kid being able to unlock and open the door with minor assistance. i figured the first time it happened unassisted we'd deal with it - until then not a problem. so..... the next day, nancy hears a noise while she is in the kitchen, and goes to see what it is. matthew gets up from his nap, comes downstairs, opens the door, and runs out to the car. i'm not sure where he wanted to go - but after nap is errand time, so i assume he was just getting a jump on it. the good news is he realized no one was behind him, so he turned around and came back to see if mom was coming. the problem is now fixed. matthew will be 18 before he gets out of the house on his own again ;)

the cluster fuck: i have a favourite aunt in winnipeg. she has worked at a hospital doing type matching for 20 years. works hard. saves people. cares. is a wonderful woman. this would be my favourite aunt and uncle on my side. found out she wasn't doing well - was ill. a while later, i had to phone to get an 'update' to pass on to someone who was on vacation, and got the full details of what was happening. C. yup, the big C. Cancer. and no candy ass cancer either. all out, fuck your life over, bone and blood. i can't remember the name - i think i sort of glazed over at one point. so - she has gone through radiation, and a bone marrow transplant. when i phoned she was at the lowest point of the entire treatment. words could not express how upset i was. and it's time to get another update - because additional information has not been passed on by anyone in my family. (that's something else i can't believe - that i have to ask to find out, because no one can be bothered to pass the information on. not even through e-mail. for fuck's sake, what's with that anyway?!)

the second cluster fuck: favourite uncle on my wife's side. italian. loud. boisterous. we once tried to kill him by accidentally refilling the sugar bowl with salt. (the only people i know who keep a container of sugar and salt on the counter in a matching set. in case you wonder why - it's the amount of baking that goes on.) let's just say tony likes his espresso sweet. really sweet. oh dear god, the look on his face. i can't imagine how bad that must have tasted. he was coughing and spitting and swearing for hours. did i mention loud?

anyway... he was having some kidney pain, so off to emergency figuring it was kidney stones. 4 days worth of tests later, they determined he had tumors in the kidney, liver, and lungs. an mri scan then occurs - because at this point, they're still not sure what it is. so, my question is this: how do you have a tumor the size of an orange in your head, without having any indication it's there? no pain. no headaches. no nausea, vomiting, dizziness. the only indication a partially paralyzed vocal cord that makes him sound like he escaped from a godfather movie. and the man admits he doesn't use most of his brain anyway. always the drama queen.

the good news, it's a treatable form - not small cell cancer. and the steroids seem to be helping with the lungs/liver/kidneys. so today is day 6 of his initial 10 day radiation treatment aimed at his thick fricken' skull. and then we wait and see as the rest of the treatment occurs.

so, that's it in a nutshell.... unless you cound my in-laws 50th wedding anniversary coming up, which we are deeply involved in the planning and execution of.

strange times, and strained times.

(anyone wishing to offer a prayer, or keep them in their thoughts will not be turned away. in fact, it would be most welcome.)

sigh....

something in the water....

i think i finally have some proof that it's true. they claim it's something to kill the algae, but i'm pretty sure it's in the drinking water too. what else could explain some of the stuff that goes on?

the past couple of days, it's been car related. i think north america has a love affair with their vehicle that is no longer healthy. and i don't just mean in the back seat either. great... now i've got the lyric "now i'm waiting for the end of time" stuck in my head along with all of the other crap.

i once remember reading a story about (i believe) mercedes, when they were looking at releasing their vehicles in north america. one of the first questions they were asked was "but where are the cup holders?" think about that. they design their vehicles, and use their vehicles, to drive. point a to point b. get there in safety, style, and comfort. not to mention class. they thought of eating or drinking in the car never even crossed their minds. either that, or they realized in advance that

• a hot cup of coffee
• newton's laws of motion (object at rest tend to stay at rest)
• and the thought of said cup of coffee not matching the velocity of a car going from zero to autobahn in a space you could park a smart car fortwo in

would create a lawsuit that made mcdonalds look like a joke.

anyway... i digress.

what i've noticed of late, is that people seem to think they are really truly alone in their car. and not only are they alone (and probably lonely, sad and pathetic - hang in there, the proof is coming) the seem to think that no one can see them as they sit in their little glass bubble. let's face it - it's a fishbowl on wheels.

so, there seem to be some pretty standard infractions you notice. such as:

1. singing at the top of your lungs. you look like an idiot, but you're having fun, don't care, and not hurting anyone (unless you have the windows rolled down).
2. those who pick their teeth. ok, i'll admit i've done this one. i spend a lot of time in my car - and eat as i drive due to time limitations. sometimes you just have to.
   
3. the cell phone talkers - well, they scare me. come on y'all - most of you can't walk and chew gum, program the time on your vcr, or concentrate on the road and your conversation about pink bubble gum lip gloss and it's benefits in your desperate plot to attract a mate.
4. the nose picker. not a scratch. not rubbing. but drilling for oil, buried to the second knuckle and still working it deeper. i know it's alberta, but i'm almost positive there's no oil up there. come to think of it, i'm pretty much positive there isn't anything up in your cranium.
5. the masturbator. i've only ever heard of this one, but it was from my sister so i actually give it credit. she was riding a city bus, and was higher up than the guy in the pick up. she made it sound like he was trying to choke a midget garter snake to death that had somehow gotten into his pants, and was losing. ever wonder about that two car pile-up blocking traffic in front of you? ok... so it's probably just some stupid idiot. probably.

the latest one i saw, was a squeezer. i thought she might be a picker until she leaned in close to the mirror, and gave 'er on the side of her nose with both hands. yup, i was stopped on the side o'squeezin. but was that all? no..... pull down the cheeks for a clearer look by sliding the palms of her hands over them. then onto the chin - pull those cheeks sideways for a nice clear look. and then onto the forehead.

at that point the light turned green before i could finish contemplating going back to taking the bus. mostly because i remember horror stories from okami and joe about some of their bus rides. and i have dark fleeting horrible memories from the years i spent on public transport.

time to turn up the iPod, and sing off key as loudly as i can while i finish my trip to work. at least i don't have my finger embedded up my nose.

a little amusement...... (updated info)

warning: volume defaults to maximum.

sorry for anyone experiencing difficulties.

i've had some people who can't view this as an embedded link here - and i don't know why. this is a link provided by the originator's website - it's a quicktime movie. i also tried linking to break.com where they had it as an embedded windows media link. break.com also has a flash version.

all i can recommend is trying the original website: www.eepybird.com
or the alternate i can provide is at http://www.break.com/movies/pepsimentos.html

alternately you can download the whole video here.

is it worth it? i think so. i've watched it about 30 times now. (these two appeared on the tonight show, and with letterman. their site has had over 3 million hits. it's great crazy fun.)

it may be a video codec issue - in which case all i can recommend is update your quicktime, windows media player, or flash player. they're all free anyway.......

V....

warning: testicles. if that has put you off at all, you should leave now. if my wife is teaching you how to knit, you may want to skip this post. we all know you're going to keep reading anyway, so the hell with it. let's get going.

"there's nothing like having an elderly, accented, european man cup your testicles with ice cold hands first thing in the morning."

scratch that. that's how i was going to start this post. let's just say the big V ain't victory.

i've since learned having the same elderly, accented european man gripping your testicles in his hands while wielding a scalpel is far, far more frightening. let's just say we got close enough i know he's czechoslovakian, old school.

now, this is supposed to be a simple, pain free surgical procedure using the latest in modern technology. it's less invasive than the female option. it's 20 minutes. plus waiting time of course.... you can't go to a doctor's office and not expect to add on at least 30 minutes of waiting time. if they're covering for their colleague who is on vacation, you can add another hour to that. just trust me on that one.

anyway. 20 minutes. simple. it's so simple, it's done in the office. what could possibly go wrong? i wish i was jewish just so i could say "oy vey" if it's good enough for einstein, it's good enough for me.

i'm going to back up a bit and start at the beginning. or at least a little bit before the actual day of. this experience also had the added benefit of bonding with my boss. there was concern over the day's absence. doctor appointment i explained. the whole day? yes, elective surgery. is it serious? ah crap - it'll just be easier to explain it than this shit. vasectomy. sit down, do i have a story for you.....

you have got to be kidding me. sit down. for a personal story. fuck. if you're thinking this does not bode well, you may be right. the first story, was of his brother's vasectomy and.... resultant third child a year later. the second story was a directly personal recount of his suffering at the hands of the same doctor. let's just say i think the doc overcompensated for the problem with my boss' sibling. (i mean, come on - you're still fertile for up to 3 months. i'm figuring a classic case of stupidity if it really was "a year" later). but i digress.

so.... there i am, pants off, underwear at the knees, fabric draped over the groin, nuts to the wind. that's when he realizes after he's gloved up he forgot something and needs the receptionist. thank god she's a nurse. so, the electrode is now placed under my butt. electrode? for what!? ah, cauterization. of what!? ah, the vasa deferentia.

here it is in a nut shell (if you'll pardon the pun). find the tube that carries the sperm. using local anesthetic, freeze that area. incision. grab the little tube and clamp it on both sides - remove a section in the middle. cauterize the ends so no little swimmers ever have a chance of crossing the english channel. stuff everything back in. a single stitch in both incisions. done. what is referred to as a no scalpel vasectomy (nsv). of course, that doesn't include the incision to get there.....

nope, doesn't sound too bad at all. unless the freezing doesn't take on one side. i didn't know you could sweat so much laying there doing nothing. and yes gents, make sure you ask for extra if you're a wuss. i didn't pass out, but i did feel it all. all of it. he used extra anesthetic on the left side. i didn't even have to request it. not all people respond to local anesthetic the same. my dentist curses me because he has to use twice the normal dose. now why that didn't cross my mind to pass on to this guy, i couldn't tell you.

so the post has been interesting. they suggest a jock strap. (i know they are technically called an athletic supporter, but try buying one by asking for that. you get a blank look until you say 'you know, a jock strap?') i highly recommend it. in fact, i would suggest if you're even thinking of getting your nuts nipped you buy one before you go in. i had a hell of a time as it's between sports seasons, and your local pharmacy doesn't sell them: they are not a medical item.

and ice. lots of ice.

but here is the problem. i was fine the first 3 days. even went out for dinner and a movie since matthew was that the grandparents. the bruising didn't hit until day 4. blue balls my ass - black and blue and purple. the swelling started day 5. i broke down when i couldn't walk and kept crushing myself trying to get out of the car day 8 - so off to find an athletic supporter.

the poor guy at sport check who helped me out looked like he was going to pass out because i was walking so funny. i now own the best jock strap on the market. oh my dear god i can't tell you how much it helped.

so the swelling is mostly gone - no more grapefruits in the crotch. the incisions are healing decently now (better with the swelling gone).

and i will never, ever utter the phrase "i'd give my left nut..." ever, ever again.

--------------------
if you really want more information:
wikipedia (general information)
pictorial essay on my-vasectomy.com through description and documentation of a NSV. it's not quite the same as what i went through, but pretty close. (no - it's not my vasectomy. no one needs to see that.)

digital.....

for a while now, i've been keeping an eye out for a cheap digital camera. having majored in photography, every once in a while i have the urge to carry one around again kick in- usually for no good reason. but there are times it would be handy at work, and i don't really want deprive my better half of the camera the day the young'un does something intensely cute.

i lucked out. a co-worker had one they don't use since their hubby won a newer canon at a golf tournament. they find it more user friendly. i got a nice little sony cybershot dsc-p52 3.2 megapixel camera for $40, including a decent memory card. (good little camera, nice features, and if it gets damaged or stolen, not the end of the world.)

here's a tip for everyone. maybe even a moral. when you sell any used electronic device that stores data - make sure you wipe said data off. completely. i know, i know.... common sense, right? ok, maybe not a "moral", but a warning. a reminder.

i've read stories of used blackberry's being sold on e-bay, complete with corporate rolodexes and sensitive e-mail. i also heard about a guy who bought a used laptop and had nothing but trouble with it. he couldn't get a response from the guy he bought it from - but all of the original owner's data (including photos) were still on it. a website was born. along with a lawsuit shortly after. i guess he finally got a response.

in my case, i got free porn. it was on the original small memory card they throw in for free as a joke with every digital camera. i guess they missed checking that one. i didn't ask for details, i just formatted it. and gave her a hard time. oh look... stadium in summer, stadium in winter, pair of boobs. i got part of the story - guess it was a hell of a party.

i didn't really want to know any more than that.

ah, yes - the digital age.

let's hear it for civilization. or whatever passes for it here in our end of the world.

-------
photo credits:

• sony's website for the marketing shot of their camera
• me, for the young'un doing something intensely cute, on said new sony camera. think of it as a daddy blog moment.
  

state of mind...

i am in a state.
state of mind in which i understand.
understand the desire.
desire. need. craving.
craving to destroy.
destroy mindlessly.
mindlessly. without thought. or compassion.
concern. care. emotion.
to start the world on fire.
and sit amonst the flames.
and be consumed.

there is a darkness in myself,
of which even i am frightened.












shirt design: (c) headspace design
buy the shirt: http://www.primal-screen.com/

gethsemane...

no, i have not fallen off the face of the earth, although i came close. however at the last second, just before breaking free i thought to myself "what would newton do in this situation?" ah yes.... gravity. it's not the fall that hurts, it's the sudden stop.

life has been crazy. and i mean crazy. i'm just about having a stroke at work these days.

today is fiscal year end. i'm getting e-mail from people who are dissapointed the item they ordered 3 days ago can't be here in time to be paid for from this years budget. i had an order show up at 7:30 am, with a desperate plea for the item to be here for cutoff today at noon. somehow, we actually managed to get that one. somehow, every year, we manage to fulfill almost every stupid request made over a month after the official cutoff. this year, i think i had 2 i couldn't fulfill.

it was the "i'm very disappointed" e-mail that made me laugh so hard i cried. like it was my fault? i doubt she was impressed when i responded "i don't make it, i don't ship it, and i didn't order it late." yes, i'm aware that is a clm (career limiting move). i don't play politics unless it's under pain of death, so i'm already doomed.

to top it off? i'm attempting to implement a new help desk ticket system. hopefully revamp the policies and procedures. and now that i'm ready to move forward? management is on holidays for the next 2 months. makes me glad i cancelled my summer holidays so i could get this done.
oh yes, and i now have 3 help desk positions, and one warm body to fill it when our busiest time of the year launches.

but wait.... it gets better......
heh heh... just kidding. it doesn't get better.

it becomes the standard tale of no communication, of managers not providing the help you need to do your job, never mind to do it right. of a lack of agreement, and no direction. of politics and personal favours being more important than doing it right.

i can't wait for the day someone tries to point a finger at me in blame for the cluster f*ck that's coming. that's the day i smile brightly, politely say 'FUCK YOU' and head down to Human Resources for a chat. Maybe I should chat with my staff association first..... i don't feel too worried, i don't believe i have ever seen a person fired from here. especially when they deserve it.

i don't think it's going to matter. i will have hit the point where i can't stay.

maybe it really does get better.....

i will be making some time again. it's become painfully obvious that anything i do is really moot here.

she's dead jim....

damnit jim, she's dead....
i'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.

all hail the chocolate monkey.

but she's dead. think of it as an alter-ego experiment that didn't work.

not that it went wrong. for some reason, when i started bloggin, i thought i would seperate some of it. i wasn't in a great place at the time.

but then i began to realize, i'm not that person. i don't like that person. and it takes a huge amount of energy to "be" that person. and i have better things to put it to.

sure.... had some fun. said some nasty things. didn't fool anybody other than myself.

i feel a lot more 'in touch' with myself these days, and no longer have any fear about just speaking my mind. it's all who i am. i just prefer not to focus on 'that'. it was stupid. i apologize.

there were a couple ok things i put up that had sat around waiting, either in my head or on a bulletin board for years.....

merely looking - a clipping from my bulletin board, dating back to college days (12 years)
on masturbation - a discourse that went through my head back in highscool 20+ odd years ago.

the rest, is well.... crap. again, sorry folks.... and having got that off my chest, i feel much better.....

There is no light at the end of the tunnel,
only a pack of matches handed down
from one generation to the next.
Humanity does not have a long fuse
and this generation holds the last match.

JonArno LawsonBad news, in The Noon Whistle,
1996

---
image: Sheryl's Star Trek Site - Memorial to DeForest Kelley

hands up.....

ok everyone....
all of you.... hands up....

who here finds my lack of capitals annoying?
or at the least, hard to read.

see that there comment button - come on and use it.
love it?
hate it?
don't much care?

feedback people....

( NOT THAT I'M GOING TO SWITCH TO ALL CAPS...... and no comments on bad grammer or spelling please. that's a whole other issue. and yes, i know the content is meh.)

a brief respite....

ran into a glitch during the system build (bios update went horribly, horribly wrong - leaving me with a computer that would beep a sad tune, but do nothing.) funny - i didn't realize you could hear people cringe over the internet.

so, to amuse myself, i present 2 quotes from tom robbins book, even cowgirls get the blues.....

"...on the other hand, if such an approach, was, like religion, merely a camouflage system created to modify experience in order to make life more tolerable - another exercise in escapism festooned with mystec crepe - then one had no choice but to conclude that mankind was a royal fuck-up. despite our awesome potential; despite the presence among us of the most extraordinary enlightened individuals, operating with intelligence, gentleness and style; despite a plethora of achievements that no other living creatures have come within a billion light-years or equaling, we were on the verge of destroying ourselves, internally and externally, and of taking the entire planet with us, crumpled in our tight little fists, as we shoot down the shit-chute to oblivion."

"this sentence is made of lead (and a sentence of lead gives a reader an entirely different sensation from one made of magnesium.) this sentence is made of yak wool. this sentence is made of sunlight and plums. this sentence is made of ice. this sentence is made from the blood of the poet. this sentence was made in japan. this sentence glows in the dark. this sentence was born with a caul. this sentence has a crush on norman mailer. this sentence is a wino and doesn't care who knows it. like many italic sentences, this one has mafia connections. this sentence is a double cancer with pisces rising. this sentence lost its mind searching for the perfect paragraph. this sentence refuses to be diagrammed. this sentence ran off with an adverb clause. this sentecne is 100 percent organic; it will not retain a facsimile of freshness like those sentences of homer, shakespear, goethe et al., wich are loaded with preservatives. this sentence leaks. this sentence doesn't look jewish. . . this sentence has accepted jesus christ as it's personal saviour. this sentence one spit in a book reviewer's eye. this sentence can do the funky chicken. this sentence has seen too much and forgotten too little. this sentence is called “speedoo” but its real name is mr. earl. this sentence may be pregnant, it missed its period. this sentence suffered a split infinitive – and survived. if this sentence had been a snake you'd have bitten it. this sentence went to jail with clifford irving. this sentence went to woodstock. and this little sentence went wee wee wee all the way home. this sentence is proud to be a part of the team here at even cowgirls get the blues. this sentence is rather confounded by the whole damn thing.”

(and for anyone wondering, i managed to recover. geek here: how does one recover from a total cf of a bios update? i was lucky - it updated successfully, just happened to be the wrong bios. and yes, i grabbed it from the right website, for the correct motherboard. first time in 12 years. anyway..... here's the deal.... you find a duplicate main board, loosen the bios chip, and lightly press it back in. boot off the good system - once you boot past the bios, you pull the good chip out and then hotswap the bad one in. reflash the bad chip, reset the cmos. power down and switch the chips again. yes - it does work. yes - it scared the sh*t out of me. more details? )

freeware (missed)....

sorry - as i rebuild a system this weekend, i will continue to add additional utilities i use i forgot to list....

missed two of the most important ones..... free (and very very good) antivirus

avast! - http://www.avast.com/eng/download-avast-home.html
avg - http://free.grisoft.com/doc/1

filezilla - http://filezilla.sourceforge.net/ ftp client
stickies - http://www.zhornsoftware.co.uk/stickies/index.html post it notes

lavasoft adaware - http://www.lavasoft.de/software/adaware/ spyware removal
spybot s&d - http://www.safer-networking.org/ spyware removal and protection
spyware blaster - http://www.javacoolsoftware.com/spywareblaster.html spyware protection
(Note: i use all 3 of the spyware utilities. just one doesn't seem to cut it these days.)

scanner2 - http://www.steffengerlach.de/freeware/ "this tool uses a unique concentric pie chart to display the usage of your hard disk or other media. the chart shows all major files and folders from all directory levels at once. "

---

grant mentioned something in his comment on the previous post, that it's good to keep in mind.
these aren't the be all, end all..... they are free options and alternatives. there are stability issues with some of them, and in the case of firefox - it can't do it all. (specifically because many sites use activeX controls, which firefox won't touch. However, ms made the decision with ie not to support the css standards). firefox really is a better browser grant - especially for speed and safety, but we do run firefox and ie as browsers because it is still necessary.

no software is perfect. you get what you pay for (most times. the above free anti-virus software really is excellent stuff.) free opensource software requires additional work on your part for support or issues.

but..... it's good to keep in mind there are alternatives. and people out there working on innovative ideas they want others involved with. and we all do things differently - so it's good to have a choice.

it's a good thing :)

freeware...

i respect software i pay for, as it often comes with support, upgrades, warranty, and the money you shell out is supposed to indicate usefulness and stability.

however, i am starting to become a fan of what is referred to as opensource software (for those of you unfamiliar with this - it is software whose sourcecode is publicly available, and is developed by teams or groups of people working on it. the code is protected by copyright and licenses. the same licenses also protect the users by keeping it public and free. use of the code, or parts of the code require the end product to be distrubuted under the same licenses the original code was developed under).

let's just say, there's a lot of brilliant people out there, creating free versions of software that cost big bucks. because they think the development model works better. fixes bugs faster. and because they think it should benefit everyone.

anyway.... here are some utilities that i've been using, or have switched to. not all are opensource (most are though), although all of the ones listed here are freeware - at time of listing. (sorry, a although many of these utilities are cross-platform, i am primarily a windows user.)

• firefox - www.getfirefox.com web-broswer, part of the mozilla project
• freemind - http://freemind.sourceforge.net/wiki/index.php/Main_Page mind mapping utility, comparable to mindmanager, etc. having trouble getting organized, working on a project or outline? this thing is fabulous
• task switch xp - http://www.ntwind.com/software/taskswitchxp.html? alt-tab manager (what windows should have, and isn't)
• nvu - http://www.nvu.com/index.php cross platform web authoring.
• pspad - http://www.pspad.com/ universal editor for plain text/coding.
  
• zinf - http://www.zinf.org/ audio player
• google sketchup - http://sketchup.google.com/ easy 3-d modelling (very cool)
• cdburnerxp pro - http://www.cdburnerxp.se/ cd burning software (audio/video in development, but a good general burning program)
• deepburner - http://www.deepburner.com/ another free (for personal use) cd burner package. this one has a usb key/portable edition!
  
• imgburn - http://www.imgburn.com/ cd image burning software (iso, bin, etc)
• open office - http://www.openoffice.org/ office productivity suite (like, well.... office!)
  
• irfanview - http://www.irfanview.com/ fast, small windows graphics viewer
  
• audiograbber - http://www.audiograbber.com-us.net/ windows cd ripper/audio encoder (check out the lame encoder)
  
• colorpic - http://www.iconico.com/colorpic/ windows color picking utility - supports custom color palettes, uses a screen magnifier for precision
  
• dia - http://www.gnome.org/projects/dia/ a program for drawing structured diagrams (think visio style)
  
• the font thing - http://members.ozemail.com.au/~scef/tft.html windows font manager.
• ultravnc - http://ultravnc.sourceforge.net/ remote computer desktop control.
• axcrypt - http://axcrypt.axantum.com/ file encryption for windows
• gimp - http://www.gimp.org/ gnu image manipulation program (think free photoshop. sure, it's not quite as user friendly - but it is almost as powerful)
  
• inkscape - http://www.inkscape.org/ vector graphics editor (think illustrator, or corel)
  
• porta - http://www.stegmann.dk/mikkel/porta/ web photo album generator (uses simpleviewer)
• airtight interactive - puts out a couple extremely cool flash based image viewers gratis. check out simpleviewer, and postcard viewer. porta (see above) is one tool available to help easily create albums, but you can also use picasa, iphoto, or go manual.)

some people...

some poeople come into our lives and quickly go. some people move our souls to dance. they awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdon. some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. they stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.

- flavia weedn

yes, i now feel that it was then on that evening of sweet dreams- that the very first dawn of human love burst upon the icy night of my spirit. since that period i have never seen nor heard your name without a shiver half of delight, half of anxiety. for years your name never passed my lips, while my soul drank in, with a delirious thirst, all that was uttered in my presence respecting you.

-edgar allan poe

today's random thought....

i think the think i hate most about current fashion is that it looks like women keep forgetting to pull up their pants.

treat yourself...

i'm running kind of thin at the moment, but have some better content coming. in the meantime.....

god's debris.
this is an interesting book, written by scott adams (the creator of dilbert).

it's a thought experiment.

and a worthwhile read.

he's giving it away free in e-format (non-commercial use).

check it out.


http://www.andrewsmcmeel.com/godsdebris/

the library has moved.....

for anyone who keeps track of such things.....

i've moved the library posts that must bore y'all to tears to their own location.
same template. just more boring ;)


(it was just so i could keep track of some things because my head is a mess.....)