gethsemane...

no, i have not fallen off the face of the earth, although i came close. however at the last second, just before breaking free i thought to myself "what would newton do in this situation?" ah yes.... gravity. it's not the fall that hurts, it's the sudden stop.

life has been crazy. and i mean crazy. i'm just about having a stroke at work these days.

today is fiscal year end. i'm getting e-mail from people who are dissapointed the item they ordered 3 days ago can't be here in time to be paid for from this years budget. i had an order show up at 7:30 am, with a desperate plea for the item to be here for cutoff today at noon. somehow, we actually managed to get that one. somehow, every year, we manage to fulfill almost every stupid request made over a month after the official cutoff. this year, i think i had 2 i couldn't fulfill.

it was the "i'm very disappointed" e-mail that made me laugh so hard i cried. like it was my fault? i doubt she was impressed when i responded "i don't make it, i don't ship it, and i didn't order it late." yes, i'm aware that is a clm (career limiting move). i don't play politics unless it's under pain of death, so i'm already doomed.

to top it off? i'm attempting to implement a new help desk ticket system. hopefully revamp the policies and procedures. and now that i'm ready to move forward? management is on holidays for the next 2 months. makes me glad i cancelled my summer holidays so i could get this done.
oh yes, and i now have 3 help desk positions, and one warm body to fill it when our busiest time of the year launches.

but wait.... it gets better......
heh heh... just kidding. it doesn't get better.

it becomes the standard tale of no communication, of managers not providing the help you need to do your job, never mind to do it right. of a lack of agreement, and no direction. of politics and personal favours being more important than doing it right.

i can't wait for the day someone tries to point a finger at me in blame for the cluster f*ck that's coming. that's the day i smile brightly, politely say 'FUCK YOU' and head down to Human Resources for a chat. Maybe I should chat with my staff association first..... i don't feel too worried, i don't believe i have ever seen a person fired from here. especially when they deserve it.

i don't think it's going to matter. i will have hit the point where i can't stay.

maybe it really does get better.....

i will be making some time again. it's become painfully obvious that anything i do is really moot here.