my hands still smell.....

i'm sure that will raise some eyebrows. i'm one of those odd people, not sure if i'm blessed or cursed. i'm sort of a jack of all trades. i won't go so far as to say 'renaissance man' as i'd never really consider myself a scholar, or think i know a lot about a lot. more a student of life, and of necessity.

blessing? curse? how can you tell? it's sort of both i guess.

i graduated from an art college, after doing 5 years - partly design, mostly photography. that was pre-degree, so i have a 'diploma in visual arts, photographic arts'. had it been degree granting at the time (or should i ever have an interest in going back for an additional 6 courses) i could raise that to the commonly, lovingly referred to bfa. also better known as a bachelor of f*ck all. (no disrespect intended to those who have them and have worked hard to get there - but they don't count toward much on an employement side generally).

so now, i work in information technologies. supervisor in fact. 10 staff, 2000 clients, 4000 systems (2000 directly, the other 2000 we deal with repair. their mostly some other supervisor's nightmare ;) geek much? ummmmm... first computer was an 8086. i remember when a 20 mb hard drive was exceptionally large. wife has a computer. i have a computer. i have a spare computer. a backup. a spare backup. a mac. a fully wireless laptop. i'm currently waiting for my new 250gb hard drive to format, and hoping it will be large enough. but.... not lacking a life so much i am a unix sysadmin.

moving on......

oh yes, the smell. for those of you still hanging in there.

being a handy sort of guy, and a budget challenged sort of guy, i do most everything i can deal with. i pass on the stuff that is way out of my realm like replacing the gaskets on the headers in my car. my mechanic doesn't really want to touch it either. anyway.... the benefit of not being handy, is it only costs you money. no time. no mess. that's all someone else's problem. but as i said.... cursed.....

argh. noticed a slight puddle of water around the base of the toilet. about 2 years ago i gutted the washroom completely - new floor, drywall, tub, surround, toilet, pedestal sink, the works. all has been well. and now.... the dreaded leak. and no, it really was water - not the results of a poorly aimed "leak". keep an eye on it, wait for the weekend. have to work around a 45 minute commute, kid's schedule, and being able to sleep. wouldn't you know it... it does get worse. so much for hoping it's spilled water.

comes the weekend, and the dismantling of said crapper. the news is puzzling - the new fangled toilet seal i used is holding up great. no buildup under the base, or around the flange. in fact, it's pretty clean (if such things can be said to be clean). ok - hazztabe the seal betwixt the tank and the bowl. check the seal - it's become porus and is full of water. defintely the issue.

clean the floor, clean the toilet. yank out anything reachable that may later cause a problem. hit the hardware store for a new seal and some real brass bolts instead of this cheap shit that has already started to rust near unremovable. reassemble the whole thing. reclean the toilet.

and notice 2 hours later, it's still leaking!?! sonnofab and remember my 2 year old is sitting there watching me. deeeeeeep breath. release.

look closely. yup, i can see where the water is seeping along the seal area, and dripping to the floor from the bottom of the tank. argh. turn off the water. redrain the tank. change the spud seal to my spare (yes... it's not just computers). realign everything. tighten everything. seriously tight.

you know my 'favourite' thing about toilets? it's the instructions that say "tighten, but do not overtighten as you may crack the porcelin". i have yet to figure out how you determine that point. hmmmmm.... feels ok, but is it tight enough? crank. still not sure! crank. must be just about there... i'll give it one more crack# ah.... there it is. the point of no return. i would however like to say that i have never reached it. but i worry.

and the verdict? clean toilet - superscrubbed inside and out twice. no leak. no more rocking (got around to shimming it this time).

but my hands? it's been a week, and i swear i can still smell, well, you know... that smell.

maybe macbeth wasn't crazy. maybe he was just a plumber.

toilet links:

• the world's first see through public toilet
  
• the toilet snorkel
• the toilet seat museum
• toilet training your cat
• how stuff works: toilet
• squirt toilet seat
• training toilet paper
• wind surfer toilet bowl cleaner
  

...and your mom told you the internet was useless!