good luck, bad luck...

luck is a funny thing. and i hate to tempt it. and i hate to complain about good luck.

but i found it funny. i had a goodbye lunch to go to a while ago for an employee that is leaving my department.

these always wind up being a big pile of money at the end on the table. it's impossible to get change, and somehow there always seems to be someone who takes advantage of it and doesn't pony up. or cover the tip.

so.... before i left, i wanted to break my $20. there's always a pile of $20's on the table, because everyone hits the bank machine on the way over. (i guess that's why they're sometimes referred to as yuppy food stamps.)

off i go to get a coffee. a nice even dollar. break the $20, leave me change for a tip. thought a little advance planning was a good thing.

and would you believe... today was the day the cashier decided to smile and wave me through. gave me a free coffee.

which left me right where i started. only slightly more bemused.

it turned out alright though.... this time management requested separate bills for everyone.

tagged....

ok, i've been tagged. twice actually, but since this is the easiest one, i'll do it first.
tagged by grant - hey buddy, let me know if this qualifies or if i have to set my hair on fire.

So here's a modified meme. Grab the nearest book, whatever it is, go to page 123, find the 4th sentence, and then type in the next five sentences.

And if you're gong to attempt to clear up a big backlog of e-mails staged in "in", you'll actually discover it's more efficient to process the last-in first because of all the discussion threads that accumulate on top of one another.

One Item at a Time
You may find you have a tendency, while processing your in-basket, to pick something up, not know exactly what you want to do about it, and then let your eyes wander onto another item farther down the stack and get engaged with it. That item may be more attractive to your psyche because you know right away what to do with it - and you dont' feel like thinking about what's in your hand. This is dangerous territory.

from Getting things Done, by David Allen

yay!

sometimes dilbert echoes my life so closely, it's frightening....

fer fuck sake....

argh. took lunch for the first time in two weeks.
blogged for the first time in two weeks.

and then wound up putting in two hours of overtime.

so much for getting my shit together.

sigh....

i just realized how long it's been since i've posted anything. and it's not that i have had nothing to say, it's just.... well.... i guess i haven't been able to figure out what, or how to say it. hopefully this doesn't just sound whiny - which was part of the concern.

someone asked the other day (after noticing a long absence) how i was. to use the words of an ex-boss of mine "couldn't be better."

to be honest, that was a sign to run. to be afraid. very, very afraid. no stopping, go like a bat out of hell, clear the area. warning: you are at ground zero.

so.... here's the truth. cf. charlie fox. or for those of you who are less timid: cluster fuck. some may be thinking life or work? shit. would you believe both?

work is work. there's not too much i can say that anyone wouldn't. short staffed. in the middle of interviews. heading into the busiest time of year. true nightmare time. just trust me, you don't want to read about all the crap at work. and that is exactly what most of that is: crap.

the tragedy, is i am still struggling to separate myself from work. to leave it there while i go home for the day. so to deal with it, i'm reading:

• power over stress, kenford nedd
• getting things done, david allen
• how to enjoy your life and your job, dale carnegie

i actually went to the presentation by kenford nedd - who was a fabulous speaker. but i've also learned when you're tired - you don't retain anything (well, maybe water, and part of that piece of pie for lunch, and maybe the beer. anyway....). the getting things done was suggested by someone who found it helpful to get work out of their head - as it's primary tenet is to write it down so you aren't spending time concentrating on not forgetting it. ok... i'm guessing, as in 2 weeks i've had enough time to get 14 pages in.

life is the problem. well... not the problem, becuase i'm pretty sure the solution to life is worse. however, it is challenging. and amusing.

first, the amusing: we had talked on the weekend about the kid being able to unlock and open the door with minor assistance. i figured the first time it happened unassisted we'd deal with it - until then not a problem. so..... the next day, nancy hears a noise while she is in the kitchen, and goes to see what it is. matthew gets up from his nap, comes downstairs, opens the door, and runs out to the car. i'm not sure where he wanted to go - but after nap is errand time, so i assume he was just getting a jump on it. the good news is he realized no one was behind him, so he turned around and came back to see if mom was coming. the problem is now fixed. matthew will be 18 before he gets out of the house on his own again ;)

the cluster fuck: i have a favourite aunt in winnipeg. she has worked at a hospital doing type matching for 20 years. works hard. saves people. cares. is a wonderful woman. this would be my favourite aunt and uncle on my side. found out she wasn't doing well - was ill. a while later, i had to phone to get an 'update' to pass on to someone who was on vacation, and got the full details of what was happening. C. yup, the big C. Cancer. and no candy ass cancer either. all out, fuck your life over, bone and blood. i can't remember the name - i think i sort of glazed over at one point. so - she has gone through radiation, and a bone marrow transplant. when i phoned she was at the lowest point of the entire treatment. words could not express how upset i was. and it's time to get another update - because additional information has not been passed on by anyone in my family. (that's something else i can't believe - that i have to ask to find out, because no one can be bothered to pass the information on. not even through e-mail. for fuck's sake, what's with that anyway?!)

the second cluster fuck: favourite uncle on my wife's side. italian. loud. boisterous. we once tried to kill him by accidentally refilling the sugar bowl with salt. (the only people i know who keep a container of sugar and salt on the counter in a matching set. in case you wonder why - it's the amount of baking that goes on.) let's just say tony likes his espresso sweet. really sweet. oh dear god, the look on his face. i can't imagine how bad that must have tasted. he was coughing and spitting and swearing for hours. did i mention loud?

anyway... he was having some kidney pain, so off to emergency figuring it was kidney stones. 4 days worth of tests later, they determined he had tumors in the kidney, liver, and lungs. an mri scan then occurs - because at this point, they're still not sure what it is. so, my question is this: how do you have a tumor the size of an orange in your head, without having any indication it's there? no pain. no headaches. no nausea, vomiting, dizziness. the only indication a partially paralyzed vocal cord that makes him sound like he escaped from a godfather movie. and the man admits he doesn't use most of his brain anyway. always the drama queen.

the good news, it's a treatable form - not small cell cancer. and the steroids seem to be helping with the lungs/liver/kidneys. so today is day 6 of his initial 10 day radiation treatment aimed at his thick fricken' skull. and then we wait and see as the rest of the treatment occurs.

so, that's it in a nutshell.... unless you cound my in-laws 50th wedding anniversary coming up, which we are deeply involved in the planning and execution of.

strange times, and strained times.

(anyone wishing to offer a prayer, or keep them in their thoughts will not be turned away. in fact, it would be most welcome.)

sigh....

something in the water....

i think i finally have some proof that it's true. they claim it's something to kill the algae, but i'm pretty sure it's in the drinking water too. what else could explain some of the stuff that goes on?

the past couple of days, it's been car related. i think north america has a love affair with their vehicle that is no longer healthy. and i don't just mean in the back seat either. great... now i've got the lyric "now i'm waiting for the end of time" stuck in my head along with all of the other crap.

i once remember reading a story about (i believe) mercedes, when they were looking at releasing their vehicles in north america. one of the first questions they were asked was "but where are the cup holders?" think about that. they design their vehicles, and use their vehicles, to drive. point a to point b. get there in safety, style, and comfort. not to mention class. they thought of eating or drinking in the car never even crossed their minds. either that, or they realized in advance that

• a hot cup of coffee
• newton's laws of motion (object at rest tend to stay at rest)
• and the thought of said cup of coffee not matching the velocity of a car going from zero to autobahn in a space you could park a smart car fortwo in

would create a lawsuit that made mcdonalds look like a joke.

anyway... i digress.

what i've noticed of late, is that people seem to think they are really truly alone in their car. and not only are they alone (and probably lonely, sad and pathetic - hang in there, the proof is coming) the seem to think that no one can see them as they sit in their little glass bubble. let's face it - it's a fishbowl on wheels.

so, there seem to be some pretty standard infractions you notice. such as:

1. singing at the top of your lungs. you look like an idiot, but you're having fun, don't care, and not hurting anyone (unless you have the windows rolled down).
2. those who pick their teeth. ok, i'll admit i've done this one. i spend a lot of time in my car - and eat as i drive due to time limitations. sometimes you just have to.
   
3. the cell phone talkers - well, they scare me. come on y'all - most of you can't walk and chew gum, program the time on your vcr, or concentrate on the road and your conversation about pink bubble gum lip gloss and it's benefits in your desperate plot to attract a mate.
4. the nose picker. not a scratch. not rubbing. but drilling for oil, buried to the second knuckle and still working it deeper. i know it's alberta, but i'm almost positive there's no oil up there. come to think of it, i'm pretty much positive there isn't anything up in your cranium.
5. the masturbator. i've only ever heard of this one, but it was from my sister so i actually give it credit. she was riding a city bus, and was higher up than the guy in the pick up. she made it sound like he was trying to choke a midget garter snake to death that had somehow gotten into his pants, and was losing. ever wonder about that two car pile-up blocking traffic in front of you? ok... so it's probably just some stupid idiot. probably.

the latest one i saw, was a squeezer. i thought she might be a picker until she leaned in close to the mirror, and gave 'er on the side of her nose with both hands. yup, i was stopped on the side o'squeezin. but was that all? no..... pull down the cheeks for a clearer look by sliding the palms of her hands over them. then onto the chin - pull those cheeks sideways for a nice clear look. and then onto the forehead.

at that point the light turned green before i could finish contemplating going back to taking the bus. mostly because i remember horror stories from okami and joe about some of their bus rides. and i have dark fleeting horrible memories from the years i spent on public transport.

time to turn up the iPod, and sing off key as loudly as i can while i finish my trip to work. at least i don't have my finger embedded up my nose.