happy v-day

i was walking through the building i work in today, and passed a manned booth - casually glanced and thought 'i read that wrong. the hell's the matter with me today?' so i took another look. nope. read that right. vagina. not what i expected. oh...... vagina monologues. my apologies, i guess it was a wommyned booth ;)

it wasn't until later that a friend mentioned 'did you read the banner at the top'. ummmm.... nope. i stopped right after the two main words vagina monologues. 'it read february 14th is v-day' she declared.

shite. i thought the 14th was a day of love and celebration - didn't realize it was vagina day. i better remember to bring mine in to work. no.... wait..... i don't have one. how the hell am i supposed to celebrate valentines day now? anyone have a spare? i guess some of you don't see this as an issue, as you don't have this problem.

now granted, in fairness, i looked up v-day, and can't argue with what they are aiming at - "V-Day is a global movement to stop violence against women and girls". and maybe i have to re-look at the whole vagina monologue thing - i'll admit the only experience i have was with a local group where frankly, it came across as seriously pro-femenist through male bashing (sort of like claiming you're a great guy 'cause you only beat your dog on sundays).

i mean, the new york times can't be completely wrong:

"The monologues are part of Eve Ensler's crusade to wipe out the shame and embarrassment that many women still associate with their bodies or their sexualityÉ They are both a celebration of women's sexuality and a condemnation of its violation."
--The New York Times

i'll add it to my to do list. sorry ladies (or should that be feminists? womyn?), please don't be offended if it's sort of low on the priority scale. while i can publicy use the word 'vagina' without stuttering, turning red, or making the sign of the evil eye - i seem to have some trouble identifying completely. maybe i'll have to take another look around and see if i can't find mine.

besides, between the vagina monologues, v-day, the heart & stroke foundation, and hallmark - i'm finding valentines day is getting slightly crowded.

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I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.

. . .

I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.

lyric excerpts from:
detachable penis, king missile

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