yup, i'm male.....

i'm not your 'typical' guy. while i don't have scientific evidence to back this up, it's an opinion not wholly unfounded. i've had several "man" type discussions about outlooks on various things (dating, one night stands, alcohol, sports) and my views/attitudes/ideas don't line up too much. plus i have if on authority from 5+ women i know that i'm "not your typical guy". ok, so one went so far as to do the whole "you're like having a gay friend" routine.... painful, humiliating, and scarring. apparantly my pedestal worship of her had gone unnoticed. anyway.... i digress.

from smart, sexy, wonderful, vivacious women, i've been told. not your typical guy.

i try to plan things. i try to prepare for projects. ok, my sense of time is terrible, but that's not just a male thing. i try not to go ballistic like my father when something doesn't go right - things never go right! after 30 years, why the hell could you never NEVER figure that out?!?!? sorry. again. i digress. (fodder for a different blog entry.)

sometimes, my testicles get in the way. or i guess you could say the best laid plans of mice and men?

i cut my hair short. 1/8". any shorter and i'd lose the velcro effect that keeps my hat on. hat. not cap. no baseball cap, thank you. hat. fedora. aussie outback style. austrian. real hats. 60's hats. (again, i digress). i got tired of paying someone $15 bucks for a haircut. i bought a pair of clippers with the kit of spacing attachments. for $30 bucks, i've been doing my own hair just fine for 12 years now.

i like it short. it's comfortable. it's easy to look after. i cant' tear it out when i'm stressed. it looks better than the mullet i sported during the 80's and part of the 90's. oh yes - hair down to the middle of my back in art college. it's a wonder my in-laws let me in their house, never mind date their daughter. oh ya... hides the white that began cropping up.

anyway - testicles. right. so.... picture this. my hair is too long. i've been meaning to cut it for days, but my weekend rocked and i was busy. so i decide to do it before turning into bed. i get started - have the lower back right quadrant under way, when i get frustrated because it's not cutting smoothly. do i finish? struggle on valiantly? fight the good fight? nope.

i decide at 11pm at night, with nothing open to save my sorry ass - to fix the problem. which in this case, is to sharpen the cutting parts. no problem - i sharpen all kinds of edge tools. have lots of gear to do this with. and proceed, like a man, to thoughtlessly, fearlessly, plunge forward.

and now, now...... they won't cut at all. well, crap. that's not right. and i can't stop - somebody's going to notice. i have and inch and a half of hair missing on a quarter of my head. can't wear a baseball cap to work - i don't own one.

ok, i'll end the suspense - i fixed it. so now, my hair is short. i can survive the next round of work. well, i won't be able to pull my hair out anyway. and now, i'm off to bed.

not that i need any beauty sleep (someone as dashingly handsome as i). i'm just tired.

(insert semi-boring technical stuff here: i stayed on too coarse of a stone. when you sharpen a kitchen knife, you want to use a 100 grit stone to hone it - the knife needs the burr formed to effectively cut. stroking it on a steel lines up and restores that burr. when you cut with an edge tool, such as a chisel or plane, you want the intersecting surfaces to be at a mirror polish. in grit, that would be at about the 4000 or 8000 if you're serious. i stopped at 250. couldn't get it to cut anything - just kept bending my hair. once i got to 8000 and a mirror finish - my hair was jumping off in fear.)

i made a stick.....

subtitle: the almost perfect weekend

it's not common. hardly ever happens. that combination of things that makes an almost perfect day. the type of day that mostly makes up for all the rest of the shit you have to wade through to get there. (no, get your mind out of the gutter - none of that wink, wink, nudge, nudge say no more. it was better than that). got me some personal time.

here is how it started. (stick around for the pictures at the bottom)

late friday afternoon, i get a call from my better half, N. is a 4-1/2 a common size she asks? (stop laughing - i said it had nothing to do with that). it's not rare, says i - but it's not very common either..... why? oh, dad was helping at the garage sale they're having at the community (the in-laws recently moved to one of those over 55 communities) and he noticed a couple planes - so he checked them out and bought them for you. he also picked up this little green block plane. total price - $4.00.

(pictures are not of the actual planes, but are the same type. not to scale)

saturday, and sunday - i took a course. a couple of years ago, i bought a lathe. remembered it being fun in juniour high school shop. not sure why i bought it - the idea just kind of jumped into my head, and out i went to find one. picked up a half decent one used, with most of what i needed. proceeded to make nothing much more than a mess. and get frustrated. knew it was a practice thing - struggled on one project i needed a couple of matched handles (took 8 tries to get 2 half decent ones). and it's set up too low - so my back always got sore fast. stopped using it for much.

my wood supplier, offers some good courses. one of them is a woodturning course: the fundamentals of wood turning (based on mike darlow's book. actually, the guy who taught the course was taught by mike darlow himself. for those of you wondering, mike darlow is one of a few woodturners who have helped to revive the 'art' in recent years.) i've been wanting to take it for a couple years (especially every time i turn on the lathe and walk away frustrated). when their last course list arrived in the mail, N insisted i sign up for it.

i went from frustrated to awestruck in about 2-1/2 hours. with someone there to explain the theory, and then show you how it applies, and watch/correct your technique - major progress. theory on it's own just isn't the same.

so.... 7 guys (all of us with no woodturning experience). 7 lathes. unlimited coffee, doughnuts, and a steady stream of demos and projects was how i spend my weekend. and we ran late saturday. started early sunday and ran late again. think of it as an additional 2 1/2 hours for free. and what did i make?

a square stick of wood round. and then a little more work....... and voila!

project 1: bead, cove and fillet practice (eastern yellow poplar, 11" long) project 2: vase (eastern yellow poplar, 3" diameter, 7" long) project 3: knob (eastern yellow poplar, 3" diameter, 3" high) project 4: goblet (ash, 2 5/8" diameter, 7" high) project 5: bowl (ash, 7" diameter, 4" high). measurements are aprox.

credit....

there's something very very wrong with north america, and it's credit card companies.


for years, as an employed individual, i couldn't even get a sears card. for a lark, when i was an unemployed student i signed up for yet another try (i actually wanted the free gift to be honest.)

lo and behold, i received my card shortly. with one card, other cards were easy to get. enter a bmo (bank of montreal - before they changed their branding to something that sounds suspiciously like bowel movement).

i cranked that puppy up in no time. by the time the 'must phone the bank' flag came up on a purchase, i was over the limit by double! they cut the card. so i went and paid it off in full the next day. didn't affect my credit rating - as i was never overdue on a payment.

a couple years later, they decided they had to have me back. i signed up. my mom decided a credit rating was a necessity - so she signed up too. they screwed up. they had me married to my mother. mom was listed as employed at my father's job. my dad had all his credit cards cancelled - as they were duplicates according to their system. got it all straightened out.

all of my student loans were at royal bank - so i got me one of them visa cards they offer. been a decent card. signed up for another master card, and an american express too.

post student time, when the loans came due - i paid off and cancelled them. it was too scary having 4+ active cards. kept the visa, and the amex (as the others are not accepted at costco). i still remember having bmo send me a statement for $0.32 of 'interest charge' for 6 months before i realized they would continue to spend $0.50 for postage, and aprox $2.00 for the statement every month until i caved.

ever wonder where your service charges go to?

so, like most people - when you have one card - every credit card company on the planet sends you pre-approved applications. hell - i even get them from companies where i have one of their cards.

one day, i took a page from my father's book. he used to stuff all the junk mail he could back into the pre-paid postage envelopes they included to send it back on their dime. sort of a "message" i guess.

mbna mastercard sent me one too many applications. i took a large black felt. wrote something inspired like "stop sending me this crap. i don't want your f**king card!" in the details section. folded it as bulky as i could, and stuffed it into their pre-paid envelope.

3 weeks later, my card from them arrived. seriously. it became obvious to me they must have some id number on the envelope linked to the person in their database. they don't open them - they assume any envelope back must be an application.

i never used it. never called to have it activated. $5,500 in unwanted credit limit sat there. i shredded the card. meant to cancel it, never got around to it. for 5 years, i have received replacement cards on an inactive, unused account like clockwork.

today, i finally got around to cancelling it. "what can i do for you today?" i was asked, once i got through 10 minutes of press 1, press 2, stand on your head whilst humming the national anthem (do you know which country this card is issued from?). i got tired and hit 0. it usually punches through the menu to an operator instantly. "what can i do to help you with your platinum plus account today?" "kill it. cancel it. i want it gone." "what? i don't think i understand your request."

oh boy.... how do you say it clearer than that? "never wanted it. didn't apply for it. it's never been activated or used. i want this account closed."

i got put on hold while they found a senior account representative. same song and dance. and then they tried to tell me i "had to have applied at one time". she didn't seem amused. actually, i got lectured as to how they can't cancel the account if i'm just shredding everything i receive from them. i bluntly told her i wasn't stupid. and reiterated my 'application' information.

ah, yes.... sweet release. i'm free! free!
well, except for the visa, and the amex, and the morgage, and......

bastards....

am i paranoid? wrong question. am i paranoid enough?

there is a conspiracy. damned medical community. i feel tired, burnt out, and have had issues breathing. go to see the doctor. part of it is lack of sleep. part of it is stress. high blood pressure (desk job full o'stress). he thinks part of it may be allergies or sinus issues.

get the sinus x-rays. nothing.

go see the allergist. lab tech must be a sadist. for that matter - the doctor must be too for the damage inflicted on the wallet. what was i thinking? (for those of you who have never been - they dot your arm in a 1" grid on the inside forearm, apply a liquid concentrate of the various items, and then use a lancet to pierce your skin. you then wait to see how you react).

i have allergies - mostly food, couple others i was tested for as a kid years ago. guess which ones flared up immediately? so before she even finishes the one arm, half of it is covered in welts, with a flaming red rash. by the time she moved onto the other arm, the entire first arm flared. the second arm, oddly enough, hardly reacted.

go sit. wait. half an hour. don't scratch. don't even look at them.

that. is. a. long half-hour.

additional testing required. round two. then the bill.

i used to think that the medical community was serious about helping people. saving lives. making things better. i'm not so convinced these days. recently watched mission impossible 2 - where someone invents a terrible virus, and then the cure. can't peddle the cure without the disease.

i've often wondered, how much research is bought out and crushed. or delayed so they can make their money. and i know it's not just the drug companies - the same goes for the energy companies i'm sure.

it just left me a little discouraged to spend the day suffering, with a large bill, to find out - pretty much what i already knew.

thanks doc. i'm sure glad your years of medical training came up with the same thing my common sense did.

oh yes - the final advice? your cats are the problem. do something about them. i think i will. i'll go home and sit with them both on my lap and pet them so my blood pressure drops to normal after your bill. and the shock of the cost of an epinephrine pen. i can only guess your parents deprived you of a pet as a child, and your medical training has tightened your sphincter so tight you can't get your head out.

amusingly enough, i overheard another fellow sufferer say "i already know i'm allergic to dogs, but damned if i'm getting rid of mine." they're family. actually, they're better than some of my family.


in other news

on the good side.....

it's been warm out. nice lovely balmy temperatures. (to be honest, it's been a hotter spring than many of our summers). so i've been out with the boy when i can since it's so nice out.

on the bad side....
i have lots of exterior home projects that need to get done in the next short bit. but i will be around.

today brings you a real treat....

ok.... maybe this will just scare you. i've been debating doing this for a while, and after a couple weeks thinking about it - and some other stuff, i've decided i do take things to seriously. take myself too seriously. so here's a first step.

lately, i've been tied up with a huge project at work - we were replacing the identification and door access card in the college i work at. enterprise wide, 2000+ staff, 14,000+ students affected. huge nightmare. it's now wrapping up, and i'm about to leap into replacing our help-desk software solution.

yes folks. crisis by management. hair on fire. anyway.... sometimes you do crazy things to survive these stressful, nightmarish projects..... during the installation and testing phase, i must have produced a ton of id cards. here are some of the best photos (think dark room, night before it all goes live, testing at 7 or 9 pm.)

(the other guy is one of my partners in crime - handling most of the database and backend stuff. vigo happened to make a special guest appearance.)


and now.... to make up for that.....

from youtube.com - judson laipply is dancing.
(warning - this is a 6 minute comedy piece. but well worth it)
(requires flash)

T

i had a couple people at work recently ask me tea related questions. i was somewhat confused, and asked why they were asking me. i am, i guess, considered some sort of tea connoisseur by some of my co-workers. i guess this is because i have a teaball on my desk, and drink something other than orange pekoe. maybe it's because they can see my tea in my office. i didn't really think anything of it until i listed what i have around (list at bottom).

i'm no expert, so i went hunting for some more information on tea. combined with some things i have learned - here is some info and trivia:

my personal favourites? i like earl grey (the cream and royal are my favourite variations), russian caravan, and lapsang souchsong (traditional black tea, smoked over pine.) i'm becoming a fan of oolong quickly, as well as mate (now that i've resolved some issues)

• i do find loose teas are usually superior quality to tea bags. (most of the loose tea i buy is as cheap or cheaper than the bag version.)
  
• it's easy to oversteep white/green tea. stick to the recommended 1-2 minutes, or it's bitter. if you're water is too hot - you will also scald the tea, making it bitter.
• yerba mate is a coffee alternative, that offers a caffeine like chemical called mateine. it promotes weight loss, is rejevenating, helps with stress... what's not to like? tried it. hated it. finally found out why.... the water should be at 70–80 degrees celsius [160–180 degrees fahrenheit] and never boiling. trust me on this one - the temperature is extremely important to the taste. (i use a teaball & mug - haven't found a guampa and bombilla locally yet).
  
• forgot to clean your teeth? tea contains flouride. it has been suggested that 1.5 cups of black tea or 1 cup of green tea, consumed daily, contains enough flouride to reduce tooth decay.
• teas are blended after normal manufacturing processes. the best tea is unblended and will come from single tea estates.
• there are more than 3,000 different types of teas produced worldwide. tea can be divided into 6 main categories - white teas, black teas, oolong teas, green teas, compressed teas and flavoured teas. herbal teas are made from different plants altogether.

and the important stuff: caffeine

• there is minimal difference, chemically, between the caffeine found in tea and the caffeine you consume in a cup of coffee. in stark contrast though, the caffeine found in tea doesn't have the same negative effect on your heart and circulatory system as the caffeine in coffee does.
• steep your tea for approx. 3 minutes - a stimulating effect. steep your tea for approx. 5 minutes - a more calming effect. (black teas)

	In a 5oz/150ml cup of Tea Black Tea - leaf or teabag, brewed 1 minute Black Tea - leaf, brewed 3 minutes Black Tea - teabag, brewed 5 minutes Oolong Tea - leaf, brewed 5 minutes Green Tea - leaf, brewed 3 minutes Instant Tea 8oz. Iced Tea 120z can Decaffeinated Tea Herbal Tea In a a 5oz/150ml cup of Coffee Drip Coffee Percolated Coffee Instant Coffee Decaffeinated Coffee Caffeine present * 9-33mg 20-46mg 46-108mg 12-55mg 8-16mg 12-28mg 22-36mg 4mg None Caffeine present * 110-150mg 64-124mg 40-108mg Less than 5mg
	*The amount of caffeine found in a cup of tea can vary according to what type of tea it is, where the tea was grown, its' manufactured processes and the brewing times and methods used. Due to fermentation processes, Black and Oolong Teas contain more caffeine than Green Teas. Similiar sorts of variations occur when discussing the amount of caffeine that is found in a cup of coffee or in an amount of coffee beans. In general, you would have to drink 2 or 3 cups of cups of tea per day to equal the amount of caffeine found in a single cup of coffee because you need less tea leaves than coffee beans per cup. The smaller the tea leaf, the quicker the caffeine infuses from the tea leaves into your water.

the list (in my defense, this is from both home and work. duplicates removed):
loose:
canadian breakfast
china black tea
china green tea
china jasmine
china lung ching
china oolong
china orchid
china pu-erh
china tikuanyin
chocolate truffle
earl grey cream
earl grey royal
kashmir chai
kashmir tchai
kepta limited safari pure (kenya)
lapsan souchsong crocodile
lee valley - orange pekoe (premium)
monk's tea
rooibos vanilla cream
russian caravan
tata tea - select finest asam
yerba mate

tea bags:
bigelow - mint medley
celestial seasonings - bengal spice
celestial seasonings - chai (decaf)
celestial seasonings - chai: chocolate caramel enchantment
celestial seasonings - earl grey: victorian
celestial seasonings - english toffee
celestial seasonings - roastaroma
celestial seasonings - rooibos: moroccan red pomegranate
celestial seasonings - vanilla hazelnut
celestial seasonings - vanilla maple
celestial seasonings - white: earl grey
celestial seasonings - white: perfectly pear
english breakfast
freshpak - roobois
gloria jean's - darjeeling
grace (special select) - ginger
grace (special select) - ginger lemon
grace (special select) - ginger mint
lipton - ginger twist
london fruit & herb company - strawberry & vanilla
messmer - fennel seed
messmer - fruit & herb
messmer - green tea grapefruit
messmer - rosehip and hibiscus flowers
nabob deluxe - orange pekoe (with finest assam)
pc chai
red rose - orange pekoe
taylors of harrogate - afternoon darjeeling
taylors of harrogate - scottish breakfast
tazo - basic black iced tea
tetley - classic green tea
triple leaf brand - ginger
twinnings - earl grey


--
information taken from (and there's lots of additional)
tea rose lane
wikipedia (yerba mate)

caffeine comparison
tea rose lane

people.....

(still in a strange mood. sort of a manic, euphoric, abyss, limbo type thing. but i actually had somthing to say today.)

people are funny... unfortuneately, i find they're not usually funny ha ha. here's today's musings:

---

on my way in to work today, i had to keep myself from screaming in my car. i'm running late. finally get onto the campus. and the guy who swerved in front of me and cut me off, is now slowing down to zero at each speed bump. which i find actually makes them worse. and he's in an suv. i do see the humour in it, really i do.... which is what saves me from being locked up.

but i got to thinking.... i can't help but wonder if this guy is one of the speedbumps i face at work. metaphorically. you know - those people who get in the way of you being able to do your job. whether it's stupid questions. or they don't listen when you explain something (any of the 9 times). one of those "a little information is a dangerous thing" situations.

some days, i wish i could just driver over my metaphoric speedbumps. i wouldn't even slow down.

it might not be good for my shocks, but i'm sure my mood would improve.

---

i have a problem with fashion. working at a post-secondary educational institution, i see too much of it. a lot of it bad. first it was the sweat pants with words across the ass. someone else has already covered that one. then this last year it was the female butt crack, mostly with floss (or thong. whatever the current fashion title is). i have yet to see anyone that is appealing on. sure, i know you probably look in a mirror before you leave the house. but i'm sure you don't do it slouching in a chair like you do in class, or bent over/kneeling like your at your locker for 20 minutes chatting with your other floss friends.

please... help get the word out. my corneas can't take much more.

---

i have a neighbour (2 doors down). nice guy. retired. nosey. (nosey interested, rather than nose in your business.) he stopped by the other day, noticed i was in my yard loading up the truck with stuff to take to the dump. he saved me the hassle of hauling some of it, as he had use for it. anyway.... we got to talking flowerbeds. i have a flowerbed in the front, that has two major problems:

1) there is a 4 foot overhand protecting it - so it gets very little water, and only a couple hours sunlight during the summer. and we're zone 3(ish).

2) it has been used as a litter box by ever cat in the neighbourhood that roams free for at least the last 7 years (longer than i've lived there). the soil is dead. dead. dead. i can't get weeds to grow.

so i told him what plans i had for it. redo the boxing with new landscape ties. drop a layer of sidewalk blocks on, followed by a layer of red shale. add a couple planters, and try some hostas. due to time, and money - i'm still in the planning stage. however, it didn't stop him from doing (gasp) the exact same thing 2 weeks later. followed by my neighbour (right next door) who did the same thing. actually using stone neighbour one had left over. i should be flattered, but i find i'm a touch irritated to be honest. at least they used ugly stone.

i know. it's petty. but i'm still rolling my eyes and shaking my head.

-----------------
images:
limbo dancer: http://www.marinersnegril.com/sunset_show.htm

today...

edumakate yerself.....

Aristophanes once wrote, roughly translated; "Youth ages, immaturity is outgrown, ignorance can be educated, and drunkenness sobered, but STUPID lasts forever."

--

Great ambition and conquest without contribution is without significance. What will your contribution be? How will history remember you?

--

The worth of a life is not determined by a single failure or a solitary success.

- kevin kline, as william hundert, in the emporer's club

amuze yerself...

http://www.careerbuilder.com/monk-e-mail/

a portishead day....

you may have started to notice i'm inconsistent with my posting..... (which is better than incontinent.) i try not to write when i have nothing to say - i don't want to repeatadly whine about the same things (although i realize i do occasionally). so i'll make some observations, and then may just disappear again for a bit.

inconsistent. tired. anti-social. burnt out. melancholy. verging on depressed. introverted. unhappy.

somehow when portishead came on it fit the mood just right. discordant. melancholy. longing.

i sit here catching up on reading some blogs - shining point of light - like stars in the night sky. but i only feel the distacne. cold and empty.

----
the major project i was roped into is supposed to wrap up and go fully active today, but i am left with a foreboding feeling that it will carry on as part of my responsibilities for a long time. it was enough to make me think about driving past work and out to the mountains. i started to get that feeling, like in pushing tin, but the price of gas is too high - so i just came in to work.

----
people are funny. not funny ha ha. funny. weird.

i've pretty much given up being helpful. it's not appreciated. it's almost violently opposed. i was in the meat section of safeway yesterday - the meat guy was repacking some hamburger for me as they only had the family size mega portion of lean ground. some woman with a kid comes up, starts hunting through the hamburger. the kid, i'd say around 2, is acting up like a 2 year old who doesn't want to be there. she obviously isn't finding what she's looking for - and she keeps checking the sales special tag which advertises the lean ground on special. so i mention the butcher is bringing more out. maybe, just maybe that was the wrong department to casually mention something to someone of the opposite sex. the look i got.... like i was tyring to blow smoke up her skirt or something. sheesh....



or better yet - i noticed someone walking, just happened to glance their way as they shoved something in their mouth. it looked like a two bite brownie. never gave it any thought. so.... she looks at me and says "i know, i'm probably the only one who eats donuts on the way to the gym to work out." i can only assume it was justification due to guilt....

i give up. i'm going back into hiding until my mood improves.

--------------
image: http://gammatron.novarese.net/2003/06/28.html

vomitous mass....

so yesterday, i had to leave work early. the better half was sick. the two year old was crawling all over her in bed. got the phone call. finished up the task i was at. left.

but.... before leaving, it thought to myself - better let the boss know. so i popped by his office to tell him. sort of interrupted a meeting he was having with another manager, but it seemed pretty casual. so i told him 'better half is sick, i have to go.'

he asks, 'how serious?'

how do you politely explain that the two year old is holding her hair up when her head is in the toilet? i thought i'd be amusing, yet understated.

'she's uhhhh, worshipping,' was my reply.

blank look. so i expound "at the porcelain alter." now i feel as if this is going farther than i wanted. especially since the look is still blank.

the second manager, she stifles a laugh and says 'do i have to spell it out for you? she's puking."

i think she may have been just as surprised as i was, since he was an ex rcmp officer.

but it got me to thinking.... maybe all of the euphemisms for vomiting aren't universal.

so, here's the list i remember hearing (mostly when i was younger).

vomit
barf
ralph
throw up
puke
the technicolour yawn
tossing your cookies
worshipping at the porcelain alter
riding the porcelain bus

please... add the common ones you remember that i've missed, or haven't heard. maybe they are more regional than i think. and remember to keep your hair up ;)

library....

the latest in reality avoidance....

recently watched:

• underworld: evolution - meh. qualifies as a guy flick with the 3 B's (body count, blow-ups, breasts). to be honest it's as good as the original if that's saying much. the best part was getting to watch kate beckinsale run around in that outfit on the big screen. rental? if you liked the first. i thought the first was pretty good, but this one was a bit of a stretch. kate looks good though ;)
  
• siblings - solid renter. black comedy - canadian film. i found it highly amusing. it was almost as funny as it was disturbing. filming was good. writing was decent. a bit thin in parts, but overall good. i mean, it's not 'very bad things' but it's good.
  
• relative evil - renter. black comedy. the copy i have apparently has the australian title. another bad family, self-destruct movie. this one had funny bits, but an overall destiny is out to get me slightly depressing tone. i'm still not sure if it ends on a positive note or not.
  
• the chronicles of riddick - a must own. this is a re-watch for me, but i do have to say it makes way more sense after seeing pitch black. great sci-fi action.
  
• must love dogs - renter. cute amusing light romance comedy. i like john cusack. it's not quick pace by any stretch, but it was decent, and slightly amusing.
  
• secret window - johnny dep. 'nuff said.
  
• queen of the damned - seen better, seen worse, seen better. to be honest, by the time i finished the third book of rice's vampire chronicles i was tired of her re-hashing the same story over and over and over. it's a vampire movie - whoopee!
  
• bringing down the house - still funny after a couple watches.
  
• charlie's angels - a 98 minute pink bubble gum music video of a movie. which is what mcg originally directed. but hey.... drew's in it, it's fast paced and amusing. crispin glover rocks as creepy thin man, and tim curry is here too.
  
• charlie's angels: full throttle - not quite as good as the original. see the above comments.
  

recently finished:

• the curious incident of the dog in the night (mark haldon) - excellent. the freshest point of view i've seen a story written in, possibly in forever. read the entire book in pretty much one sitting.
  
• eragon (christopher paolini) - solid sci-fi, especially for the younger. defenite middle earth genre. flows well, characters are decently developed. and to think it's his first book, and written at the age of 15(?). second book is shaping up to be as good.
  
• the penultimate peril, book the twelfth (lemony snickett) - only one more until the series ends. i find it still a decent series - the last couple of books in this series have developed the characters better, and the plots are more intriciate as well (ok, a little more intricate).
  

recently started:

• keeper of the isis light (monica hughes)
  
• black mist & other japanese futures (edited by orson scott card & keith ferrel)
  
• eldest (christopher paolini)
  
• don't sweat the small stuff... and it's all small stuff (richard carlson phd)
  

my favourite receipt...

a lighter note for friday.....

all of grant's j-discussions and month of japanese eating reminded me of my favourite receipt.

i've kept this receipt for over 3 years. it's from my favourite oriental superstore. the poor clerk didn't understand what i was talking about when i mentioned they needed to correct the product description. i finally pointed to what was being displayed clearly on the cash register readout.

yes, it's possible for an asian person to turn bright cherry red. i guess the circumstances just have to be right for it.

apparently there is only the one size available - not much demand for the diet version i guess.

ummm... you're kidding right?

observed while driving:

back during the big quebec seperation referendum, some enterprising person at a cab company in calgary put 'canada united' stickers with the flag on the back of all the cabs. the whole thing is surrounded by a border of maple leafs. what's so funny about that?

C * A * N * A * D * A
UNI * TED

so much for all that work women's lib did. a cleaning service. on the back window of a car: "Wench's Cleaning". should i hope that was intentional? (and yes, i checked - they do not provide maid service dressed in skimpy attire.)


your day is better than this guy's. today as i was driving to work, i noticed a 5 tonne rental van that had smashed into a bridge side - missed the turn perhaps. so he's now blocking a 4 lane road. front of the truck smashed in. half embeded in concrete and rail. figure he must have been going fast - and he's at a bad angle. so.... i get a little closer as traffic moves and notice the car upside down underneath (which explains the odd angle). no one appeared to be seriously injured - the car wasn't crushed flat, and there were a lot of people standing around (i imagine since they couldn't get in to work with the bridge blocked). 2 minutes later emergency vehicles arrived, and my lane opened up.

my day? had meetings. guess it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be.


random & misc.

• in my quest for 'what happened to steve' i found out the major influence for his music (and indeed guest starring) was the flaming lips. they're pretty good. new band discovered.
• they might be giants did a guest spot on a blue's clues episode - they were amusing. a friend tried to get me interested years ago, but they didn't 'do' anything for me. i guess they're like a woody allen movie - you have to be of an age to appreciate them. turns out they're good too. (i've adopted their song "i be an retarded" as the theme song for a major project i'm working on).
• ok, you caught me - those were related items.
  

back....

happy easter (yes, i realize it's a hare late)

well, a 6 day hiatus isn't quite long enough for decompression. i almost got there, and then on the last day fear started to make the back of my neck crawl. sure.... it wasn't as bad as i was expecting when i did go back in today, but it was close. the truth is, i ignored/avoided a couple of people who would have brought it to the expected level.


things i learned over the weekend:

• 6 days is not enough to decompress fully from work.
• no matter how bad my day is, i fall in love with my son all over again (especially when i tickle him after his bath and he rolls around giggling)
• steve burns found life after blues clues. so there is hope for everyone. (for those who don't know... steve was the ever popular host of blues clues for about 6 years. he has since moved on, formed a rock band, and kicked some ass. his stuff is good. who knew? go check out his website. it's a good website.)
• it's hard to make the new steve and the old steve live in my head. i hear his music, but i watch him do his goofy stuff on my son's dvd. weird.

(old steve with the hat, new steve with the guitar)

the "family" easter story.
we are one of those families that all live in the same city, but are so 'busy' we hardly ever get together. the exception to that of course, is major holidays. yah, we all know that's not the best but it works out ok.

usually my family drives me nuts. i love them. but i love them far away. a couple hours is great. more than that, well... it's hard to believe for siblings that are all 2 years apart have little in common. sure, we have common areas of interest and experience, but we all have very different attitudes about life, and the way it is lived.

being the oldest, i was always the responsible one. my brother the youngest, was always the late one - showing up eventually after finding a starbucks with a coffee in hand. he's gotten better after years of having this unmercilessly teased it was all the funnier because he's deny the reason for being late with said starbucks cup in his hand. my sister has the rebellious anger management issue teenager - she makes it there on time. i'm sure she's challenged to make it happen, but somehow they do. this was the best holiday we've shared in a long time.

my mom - lovely woman. caring. loving. would go to the ends of the earth. cooks up oversized meals at most of these events. but somehow manages to suck the flavour out of food.

i'm not kidding.

and i'm not talking bland, or "could use more spice" - i'm talking no flavour. i didn't know this was possible. i don't like coating my food or burying it under a ton of sauce. there are things i will do this to (ribs, spaghetti) but i like the taste of most food as is.

don't get confused. i'm not saying i don't add spice. i do. i'm not saying an accompanying sauce has no place. of course it does. but when you look at some potatoes, and think 'wow, looks like she spiced them this time', and then put them in your mouth and wonder if you really put anything in there?!?!

no taste. no flavour. not even of potatoe. i always thought it was pretty hard to screw up a potatoe - potatoes have pretty good flavour on their own. a little butter. maybe some garlic.

pretty much the entire meal, every meal. unless we do a pot-luck gathering. this round i'll admit the ham was good (oven cooked, nothing done to it) and the spinach salad survived (bag o'salad i think).

this has been the challenge of my life growing up. we're thinking of sneaking in some spices the next time we go over. nothing fancy - some garlic pepper, maybe some seasoning salt, a little curry if i can get away with it. just a minor survival kit.

if anyone out there can explain how this is done, i'd be interested.

just from a purely scientific viewpoint. i plan on continuing to cook with all the flavour i can muster.

until the next holiday.......


--------------
images:
"old steve" - screen capture from blues big musical movie - the 'silly hat' song
"new steve" - taken from steve's official website: http://www.steveswebpage.com/

on hiatus...

(h-ts):

• suspension: an interruption in the intensity or amount of something
• A gap or interruption in space, time, or continuity; a break
• interval; break; period of rest; separation; interruption;
• A separation, aperture, fissure, or short passage in an organ or body part

ok, so maybe not so much the last definition. after a long and trying period of time while i've been involved in a very large project, i have passed a milestone where it is mostly in operation - and has had several quiet days. i now depart to use portions of the large amount of overtime that has accumulated. i will return, as this project is not yet complete - but much rests in the hands of others at the moment.

so, while i am gone - think of me.... and do me a favour.... thank the next information technology services person who's path you cross where you work. if you really want to freak them out, hug them. tell them you're sorry they work in a world where no news must be assumed to be good news. let them know you realize the rest of the company doesn't appreciate them. without them, the company could never run.

sure, most of that is bullshit - but you'll either make their day, or scare the living hell out of them. either one could be really fun.

i am in a much gentler mood looking ahead to almost a solid week away from work, compared to the blogs i didn't publish because i was running in cold cold anger. i didn't think it was a good sign when i was using phrases such as 'screwed', 'cluster f*ck' or '*ss r*ped' during conversations with work colleagues.

oh sweet time off. perhaps now i'll be able to catch up on everyone's blogs. find a place in the real world again. spend some time with the family.

time to turn off the blackberry. and unless i get some insane overwhelming urge, i'll see you all on wednesday again.

nothing is constant except for change....

love it? hate it? let me know....

yes, the content will still be lame, but frankly i was finding the uber-black thing hard to read lately. besides, grant is "evil" enough to cover the rest of us, and even he doesn't use a black blog.

sorry high desert diva - i guess *updated* really does mean *updated* this time ;)

technology....

technology... sometimes you just have to wonder.

every once in a while they come out with something that just makes me shake my head. this one however had me laughing....

wired magazine presents a gallery of the weirdest usb devices.

http://blog.wired.com/weirdusb/

my favourite? flash memory barbie (page 2). ah.... brings back memories of childhood.

for Okami

Excerpts From Stephen Leacock's
The Apology Of A Professor: An Essay On Modern Learning
c1876

"I know no more interesting subject of speculation, nor any more calculated to allow of a fair-minded difference of opinion, than the enquiry whether a professor has any right to exist. Prima facie, of course, the case is heavily against him. His angular overcoat, his missing buttons, and his faded hat, will not bear comparison with the double-breasted splendour of the stock-broker, or the directoire fur gown of the cigar-maker. Nor does a native agility of body compensate for the missing allurement of dress. He cannot skate. He does not shoot. He must not swear. He is not brave. His mind, too, to the outsider at any rate, appears defective and seriously damaged by education. He cannot appreciate a twenty-five cent novel, or a melodrama, or a moving-picture show, or any of that broad current of intellectual movement which soothes the brain of the business man in its moments of inactivity. His conversation, even to the tolerant, is impossible. Apparently he has neither ideas nor enthusiasms, nothing but an elaborate catalogue of dead men's opinions, which he cites with a petulant and peevish authority that will not brook contradiction, and that must be soothed by a tolerating acquiescence, or flattered by a plenary acknowledgement of ignorance."

...

"... Napoleon felt a life-long abhorrence of the class, broken only by one brief experiment that ended in failure. It is related that at the apogee of Imperial rule, the idea flashed upon him that France must have learned men, that the professors must be encouraged. He decided to act at once. Sixty-Five professors were invited that evening to the palace of the Tuileries. They came. They stood about in groups, melancholy and myopic beneath the light. Napoleon spoke to them in turn. To the first he spoke of fortifications. The professor in reply referred to the binomial theorem. 'Put him out,' said Napoleon. To the second he spoke of commerce. The professor in answer cited the opinions of Diodorus Siculus. 'Put him out,' said Napoleon. At the end of half an hour Napoleon had had enough of the professors. 'Cursed ideologues,' he cried; 'put them all out.' Nor were they ever again admitted."

...

"The word 'professor' has thus become a generic tem, indicating the assumption of any form of dexterity, from hair-cutting to running the steam shovel in a crematorium. It is even customary - I am informed - to designate in certain haunts of meretricious gaiety the gentleman whose efforts at the piano are rewarded by a per capita contribution of ten cents from every guest - the 'professor.'"

...

"... In the first place there is no doubt that his mind is very seriously damaged by his perpetual contact with the students. I would not for a moment imply that a university would be better off without the students; although the point is one which might well elicit earnest discussion. But their effect upon the professor is undoubtedly bad. He is surrounded by an atmosphere of sycophantic respect. His students, on his morning arrival, remove his overshoes and hang up his overcoat. They sit all day writing down his lightest words with stylographic pens of the very latest model. They laugh at the meanest of his jests. They treat his with a finely simulated respect that has come down as a faint tradition of the old days of Padua and Bologna, when a professor was in reality the venerated master, a man who wanted to teach, and the students disciples who wanted to learn.

All that is changed now. The supreme import of the professor to the students now lies in the fact that he controls the examinations. He holds the golden key which will unlock the door of the temple of learning - unlock it, that is, not to let the student in, but to let him get out - into something decent. This fact gives to the professor a fictitious importance, easily confounded with his personality, similar to that of the gatekeeper at a dog show, or the ticket-wicket man at a hockey match."

...

"The result, then, of this odd-looking system is, that what ought to be a thing existing for itself is turned into qualification for something else. The reality of a student's studies is knocked out by the grim earnestness of having to pass an examination. How can a man really think of literature, or of the problem of the soul, who knows that he must learn the contents of a set of books in order to pass an examination which will give him the means of his own support, and perhaps, one-half the support of his mother, or fifteen per cent of that of a maiden aunt. The pressure of circumstances is too much. The meaning of study is lost. The qualification is everything."

...

"Such is the distinctive character of modern learning, imprint with a resigned agnosticism towards the search after truth, able to refute everything and to believe nothing, and leaving its once earnest devotees stranded upon the arid sands of their own ignorance. In the face of this fact can it be wondered that a university converts itself into a sort of mill, grinding out its graduates, legally qualified, with conscientious regularity? The students take the mill as they find it, perform their task and receive their reward. They listen to their professor. They write down with stylographic pens in loose-leaf note-books his most inane and his most profound speculations with an undiscriminating impartiality. The reality of the subject leaves but little trace upon their minds."

...

"Dare one, as the wildest of fancies, suggest how different things might be if learning counted, or if we could set it on its feet again, if students wanted to learn, and if professors had anything to teach, if a university lived for itself and not as a place of qualification for the junior employees of the rich; if there were only in this perplexing age some way of living humbly and retaining the respect of one's fellow; if a man with a few hundred dollars a year could cast out the money question and the house question, and the whole business of competitive appearances and live for the things of the mind! But then, after all, if the mind as a speculative instrument has gone bankrupt, if learning, instead of meaning a mind full of though, means only a bellyful of fact, one is brought to a full stop, standing among the littered debris of an ideal that has passed away. "

comments upgraded....

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

(i think i've got it figured out now. i sort of bulk moved all of the recent comments from the current main page. i got lazy, and didn't match the original times. )

sigh.....

and a big thanks to joe. who mumbled something incoherent about blogroller. so i went and looked. and if it isn't the easy, intelligent way to manage links.

damn. now i feel like i owe.

oh yes. the fine print. instead of "Updated!" you may notice I went and adapted the old fortune cookie joke. for those of you who don't know it, it's simply add "in bed" to the end of any fortune. seemed amusing at the time. assuming it works. (this may change at a whim, or based on complaints)

(you will note I wasn't insane enough to list by the author's names. i used their title. the thought of "joe in bed" sort of made me naseous. nothing personal. )