a portishead day....

you may have started to notice i'm inconsistent with my posting..... (which is better than incontinent.) i try not to write when i have nothing to say - i don't want to repeatadly whine about the same things (although i realize i do occasionally). so i'll make some observations, and then may just disappear again for a bit.

inconsistent. tired. anti-social. burnt out. melancholy. verging on depressed. introverted. unhappy.

somehow when portishead came on it fit the mood just right. discordant. melancholy. longing.

i sit here catching up on reading some blogs - shining point of light - like stars in the night sky. but i only feel the distacne. cold and empty.

----
the major project i was roped into is supposed to wrap up and go fully active today, but i am left with a foreboding feeling that it will carry on as part of my responsibilities for a long time. it was enough to make me think about driving past work and out to the mountains. i started to get that feeling, like in pushing tin, but the price of gas is too high - so i just came in to work.

----
people are funny. not funny ha ha. funny. weird.

i've pretty much given up being helpful. it's not appreciated. it's almost violently opposed. i was in the meat section of safeway yesterday - the meat guy was repacking some hamburger for me as they only had the family size mega portion of lean ground. some woman with a kid comes up, starts hunting through the hamburger. the kid, i'd say around 2, is acting up like a 2 year old who doesn't want to be there. she obviously isn't finding what she's looking for - and she keeps checking the sales special tag which advertises the lean ground on special. so i mention the butcher is bringing more out. maybe, just maybe that was the wrong department to casually mention something to someone of the opposite sex. the look i got.... like i was tyring to blow smoke up her skirt or something. sheesh....



or better yet - i noticed someone walking, just happened to glance their way as they shoved something in their mouth. it looked like a two bite brownie. never gave it any thought. so.... she looks at me and says "i know, i'm probably the only one who eats donuts on the way to the gym to work out." i can only assume it was justification due to guilt....

i give up. i'm going back into hiding until my mood improves.

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image: http://gammatron.novarese.net/2003/06/28.html

vomitous mass....

so yesterday, i had to leave work early. the better half was sick. the two year old was crawling all over her in bed. got the phone call. finished up the task i was at. left.

but.... before leaving, it thought to myself - better let the boss know. so i popped by his office to tell him. sort of interrupted a meeting he was having with another manager, but it seemed pretty casual. so i told him 'better half is sick, i have to go.'

he asks, 'how serious?'

how do you politely explain that the two year old is holding her hair up when her head is in the toilet? i thought i'd be amusing, yet understated.

'she's uhhhh, worshipping,' was my reply.

blank look. so i expound "at the porcelain alter." now i feel as if this is going farther than i wanted. especially since the look is still blank.

the second manager, she stifles a laugh and says 'do i have to spell it out for you? she's puking."

i think she may have been just as surprised as i was, since he was an ex rcmp officer.

but it got me to thinking.... maybe all of the euphemisms for vomiting aren't universal.

so, here's the list i remember hearing (mostly when i was younger).

vomit
barf
ralph
throw up
puke
the technicolour yawn
tossing your cookies
worshipping at the porcelain alter
riding the porcelain bus

please... add the common ones you remember that i've missed, or haven't heard. maybe they are more regional than i think. and remember to keep your hair up ;)

library....

the latest in reality avoidance....

recently watched:

• underworld: evolution - meh. qualifies as a guy flick with the 3 B's (body count, blow-ups, breasts). to be honest it's as good as the original if that's saying much. the best part was getting to watch kate beckinsale run around in that outfit on the big screen. rental? if you liked the first. i thought the first was pretty good, but this one was a bit of a stretch. kate looks good though ;)
  
• siblings - solid renter. black comedy - canadian film. i found it highly amusing. it was almost as funny as it was disturbing. filming was good. writing was decent. a bit thin in parts, but overall good. i mean, it's not 'very bad things' but it's good.
  
• relative evil - renter. black comedy. the copy i have apparently has the australian title. another bad family, self-destruct movie. this one had funny bits, but an overall destiny is out to get me slightly depressing tone. i'm still not sure if it ends on a positive note or not.
  
• the chronicles of riddick - a must own. this is a re-watch for me, but i do have to say it makes way more sense after seeing pitch black. great sci-fi action.
  
• must love dogs - renter. cute amusing light romance comedy. i like john cusack. it's not quick pace by any stretch, but it was decent, and slightly amusing.
  
• secret window - johnny dep. 'nuff said.
  
• queen of the damned - seen better, seen worse, seen better. to be honest, by the time i finished the third book of rice's vampire chronicles i was tired of her re-hashing the same story over and over and over. it's a vampire movie - whoopee!
  
• bringing down the house - still funny after a couple watches.
  
• charlie's angels - a 98 minute pink bubble gum music video of a movie. which is what mcg originally directed. but hey.... drew's in it, it's fast paced and amusing. crispin glover rocks as creepy thin man, and tim curry is here too.
  
• charlie's angels: full throttle - not quite as good as the original. see the above comments.
  

recently finished:

• the curious incident of the dog in the night (mark haldon) - excellent. the freshest point of view i've seen a story written in, possibly in forever. read the entire book in pretty much one sitting.
  
• eragon (christopher paolini) - solid sci-fi, especially for the younger. defenite middle earth genre. flows well, characters are decently developed. and to think it's his first book, and written at the age of 15(?). second book is shaping up to be as good.
  
• the penultimate peril, book the twelfth (lemony snickett) - only one more until the series ends. i find it still a decent series - the last couple of books in this series have developed the characters better, and the plots are more intriciate as well (ok, a little more intricate).
  

recently started:

• keeper of the isis light (monica hughes)
  
• black mist & other japanese futures (edited by orson scott card & keith ferrel)
  
• eldest (christopher paolini)
  
• don't sweat the small stuff... and it's all small stuff (richard carlson phd)
  

my favourite receipt...

a lighter note for friday.....

all of grant's j-discussions and month of japanese eating reminded me of my favourite receipt.

i've kept this receipt for over 3 years. it's from my favourite oriental superstore. the poor clerk didn't understand what i was talking about when i mentioned they needed to correct the product description. i finally pointed to what was being displayed clearly on the cash register readout.

yes, it's possible for an asian person to turn bright cherry red. i guess the circumstances just have to be right for it.

apparently there is only the one size available - not much demand for the diet version i guess.

ummm... you're kidding right?

observed while driving:

back during the big quebec seperation referendum, some enterprising person at a cab company in calgary put 'canada united' stickers with the flag on the back of all the cabs. the whole thing is surrounded by a border of maple leafs. what's so funny about that?

C * A * N * A * D * A
UNI * TED

so much for all that work women's lib did. a cleaning service. on the back window of a car: "Wench's Cleaning". should i hope that was intentional? (and yes, i checked - they do not provide maid service dressed in skimpy attire.)


your day is better than this guy's. today as i was driving to work, i noticed a 5 tonne rental van that had smashed into a bridge side - missed the turn perhaps. so he's now blocking a 4 lane road. front of the truck smashed in. half embeded in concrete and rail. figure he must have been going fast - and he's at a bad angle. so.... i get a little closer as traffic moves and notice the car upside down underneath (which explains the odd angle). no one appeared to be seriously injured - the car wasn't crushed flat, and there were a lot of people standing around (i imagine since they couldn't get in to work with the bridge blocked). 2 minutes later emergency vehicles arrived, and my lane opened up.

my day? had meetings. guess it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be.


random & misc.

• in my quest for 'what happened to steve' i found out the major influence for his music (and indeed guest starring) was the flaming lips. they're pretty good. new band discovered.
• they might be giants did a guest spot on a blue's clues episode - they were amusing. a friend tried to get me interested years ago, but they didn't 'do' anything for me. i guess they're like a woody allen movie - you have to be of an age to appreciate them. turns out they're good too. (i've adopted their song "i be an retarded" as the theme song for a major project i'm working on).
• ok, you caught me - those were related items.
  

back....

happy easter (yes, i realize it's a hare late)

well, a 6 day hiatus isn't quite long enough for decompression. i almost got there, and then on the last day fear started to make the back of my neck crawl. sure.... it wasn't as bad as i was expecting when i did go back in today, but it was close. the truth is, i ignored/avoided a couple of people who would have brought it to the expected level.


things i learned over the weekend:

• 6 days is not enough to decompress fully from work.
• no matter how bad my day is, i fall in love with my son all over again (especially when i tickle him after his bath and he rolls around giggling)
• steve burns found life after blues clues. so there is hope for everyone. (for those who don't know... steve was the ever popular host of blues clues for about 6 years. he has since moved on, formed a rock band, and kicked some ass. his stuff is good. who knew? go check out his website. it's a good website.)
• it's hard to make the new steve and the old steve live in my head. i hear his music, but i watch him do his goofy stuff on my son's dvd. weird.

(old steve with the hat, new steve with the guitar)

the "family" easter story.
we are one of those families that all live in the same city, but are so 'busy' we hardly ever get together. the exception to that of course, is major holidays. yah, we all know that's not the best but it works out ok.

usually my family drives me nuts. i love them. but i love them far away. a couple hours is great. more than that, well... it's hard to believe for siblings that are all 2 years apart have little in common. sure, we have common areas of interest and experience, but we all have very different attitudes about life, and the way it is lived.

being the oldest, i was always the responsible one. my brother the youngest, was always the late one - showing up eventually after finding a starbucks with a coffee in hand. he's gotten better after years of having this unmercilessly teased it was all the funnier because he's deny the reason for being late with said starbucks cup in his hand. my sister has the rebellious anger management issue teenager - she makes it there on time. i'm sure she's challenged to make it happen, but somehow they do. this was the best holiday we've shared in a long time.

my mom - lovely woman. caring. loving. would go to the ends of the earth. cooks up oversized meals at most of these events. but somehow manages to suck the flavour out of food.

i'm not kidding.

and i'm not talking bland, or "could use more spice" - i'm talking no flavour. i didn't know this was possible. i don't like coating my food or burying it under a ton of sauce. there are things i will do this to (ribs, spaghetti) but i like the taste of most food as is.

don't get confused. i'm not saying i don't add spice. i do. i'm not saying an accompanying sauce has no place. of course it does. but when you look at some potatoes, and think 'wow, looks like she spiced them this time', and then put them in your mouth and wonder if you really put anything in there?!?!

no taste. no flavour. not even of potatoe. i always thought it was pretty hard to screw up a potatoe - potatoes have pretty good flavour on their own. a little butter. maybe some garlic.

pretty much the entire meal, every meal. unless we do a pot-luck gathering. this round i'll admit the ham was good (oven cooked, nothing done to it) and the spinach salad survived (bag o'salad i think).

this has been the challenge of my life growing up. we're thinking of sneaking in some spices the next time we go over. nothing fancy - some garlic pepper, maybe some seasoning salt, a little curry if i can get away with it. just a minor survival kit.

if anyone out there can explain how this is done, i'd be interested.

just from a purely scientific viewpoint. i plan on continuing to cook with all the flavour i can muster.

until the next holiday.......


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images:
"old steve" - screen capture from blues big musical movie - the 'silly hat' song
"new steve" - taken from steve's official website: http://www.steveswebpage.com/

on hiatus...

(h-ts):

• suspension: an interruption in the intensity or amount of something
• A gap or interruption in space, time, or continuity; a break
• interval; break; period of rest; separation; interruption;
• A separation, aperture, fissure, or short passage in an organ or body part

ok, so maybe not so much the last definition. after a long and trying period of time while i've been involved in a very large project, i have passed a milestone where it is mostly in operation - and has had several quiet days. i now depart to use portions of the large amount of overtime that has accumulated. i will return, as this project is not yet complete - but much rests in the hands of others at the moment.

so, while i am gone - think of me.... and do me a favour.... thank the next information technology services person who's path you cross where you work. if you really want to freak them out, hug them. tell them you're sorry they work in a world where no news must be assumed to be good news. let them know you realize the rest of the company doesn't appreciate them. without them, the company could never run.

sure, most of that is bullshit - but you'll either make their day, or scare the living hell out of them. either one could be really fun.

i am in a much gentler mood looking ahead to almost a solid week away from work, compared to the blogs i didn't publish because i was running in cold cold anger. i didn't think it was a good sign when i was using phrases such as 'screwed', 'cluster f*ck' or '*ss r*ped' during conversations with work colleagues.

oh sweet time off. perhaps now i'll be able to catch up on everyone's blogs. find a place in the real world again. spend some time with the family.

time to turn off the blackberry. and unless i get some insane overwhelming urge, i'll see you all on wednesday again.

nothing is constant except for change....

love it? hate it? let me know....

yes, the content will still be lame, but frankly i was finding the uber-black thing hard to read lately. besides, grant is "evil" enough to cover the rest of us, and even he doesn't use a black blog.

sorry high desert diva - i guess *updated* really does mean *updated* this time ;)

technology....

technology... sometimes you just have to wonder.

every once in a while they come out with something that just makes me shake my head. this one however had me laughing....

wired magazine presents a gallery of the weirdest usb devices.

http://blog.wired.com/weirdusb/

my favourite? flash memory barbie (page 2). ah.... brings back memories of childhood.

for Okami

Excerpts From Stephen Leacock's
The Apology Of A Professor: An Essay On Modern Learning
c1876

"I know no more interesting subject of speculation, nor any more calculated to allow of a fair-minded difference of opinion, than the enquiry whether a professor has any right to exist. Prima facie, of course, the case is heavily against him. His angular overcoat, his missing buttons, and his faded hat, will not bear comparison with the double-breasted splendour of the stock-broker, or the directoire fur gown of the cigar-maker. Nor does a native agility of body compensate for the missing allurement of dress. He cannot skate. He does not shoot. He must not swear. He is not brave. His mind, too, to the outsider at any rate, appears defective and seriously damaged by education. He cannot appreciate a twenty-five cent novel, or a melodrama, or a moving-picture show, or any of that broad current of intellectual movement which soothes the brain of the business man in its moments of inactivity. His conversation, even to the tolerant, is impossible. Apparently he has neither ideas nor enthusiasms, nothing but an elaborate catalogue of dead men's opinions, which he cites with a petulant and peevish authority that will not brook contradiction, and that must be soothed by a tolerating acquiescence, or flattered by a plenary acknowledgement of ignorance."

...

"... Napoleon felt a life-long abhorrence of the class, broken only by one brief experiment that ended in failure. It is related that at the apogee of Imperial rule, the idea flashed upon him that France must have learned men, that the professors must be encouraged. He decided to act at once. Sixty-Five professors were invited that evening to the palace of the Tuileries. They came. They stood about in groups, melancholy and myopic beneath the light. Napoleon spoke to them in turn. To the first he spoke of fortifications. The professor in reply referred to the binomial theorem. 'Put him out,' said Napoleon. To the second he spoke of commerce. The professor in answer cited the opinions of Diodorus Siculus. 'Put him out,' said Napoleon. At the end of half an hour Napoleon had had enough of the professors. 'Cursed ideologues,' he cried; 'put them all out.' Nor were they ever again admitted."

...

"The word 'professor' has thus become a generic tem, indicating the assumption of any form of dexterity, from hair-cutting to running the steam shovel in a crematorium. It is even customary - I am informed - to designate in certain haunts of meretricious gaiety the gentleman whose efforts at the piano are rewarded by a per capita contribution of ten cents from every guest - the 'professor.'"

...

"... In the first place there is no doubt that his mind is very seriously damaged by his perpetual contact with the students. I would not for a moment imply that a university would be better off without the students; although the point is one which might well elicit earnest discussion. But their effect upon the professor is undoubtedly bad. He is surrounded by an atmosphere of sycophantic respect. His students, on his morning arrival, remove his overshoes and hang up his overcoat. They sit all day writing down his lightest words with stylographic pens of the very latest model. They laugh at the meanest of his jests. They treat his with a finely simulated respect that has come down as a faint tradition of the old days of Padua and Bologna, when a professor was in reality the venerated master, a man who wanted to teach, and the students disciples who wanted to learn.

All that is changed now. The supreme import of the professor to the students now lies in the fact that he controls the examinations. He holds the golden key which will unlock the door of the temple of learning - unlock it, that is, not to let the student in, but to let him get out - into something decent. This fact gives to the professor a fictitious importance, easily confounded with his personality, similar to that of the gatekeeper at a dog show, or the ticket-wicket man at a hockey match."

...

"The result, then, of this odd-looking system is, that what ought to be a thing existing for itself is turned into qualification for something else. The reality of a student's studies is knocked out by the grim earnestness of having to pass an examination. How can a man really think of literature, or of the problem of the soul, who knows that he must learn the contents of a set of books in order to pass an examination which will give him the means of his own support, and perhaps, one-half the support of his mother, or fifteen per cent of that of a maiden aunt. The pressure of circumstances is too much. The meaning of study is lost. The qualification is everything."

...

"Such is the distinctive character of modern learning, imprint with a resigned agnosticism towards the search after truth, able to refute everything and to believe nothing, and leaving its once earnest devotees stranded upon the arid sands of their own ignorance. In the face of this fact can it be wondered that a university converts itself into a sort of mill, grinding out its graduates, legally qualified, with conscientious regularity? The students take the mill as they find it, perform their task and receive their reward. They listen to their professor. They write down with stylographic pens in loose-leaf note-books his most inane and his most profound speculations with an undiscriminating impartiality. The reality of the subject leaves but little trace upon their minds."

...

"Dare one, as the wildest of fancies, suggest how different things might be if learning counted, or if we could set it on its feet again, if students wanted to learn, and if professors had anything to teach, if a university lived for itself and not as a place of qualification for the junior employees of the rich; if there were only in this perplexing age some way of living humbly and retaining the respect of one's fellow; if a man with a few hundred dollars a year could cast out the money question and the house question, and the whole business of competitive appearances and live for the things of the mind! But then, after all, if the mind as a speculative instrument has gone bankrupt, if learning, instead of meaning a mind full of though, means only a bellyful of fact, one is brought to a full stop, standing among the littered debris of an ideal that has passed away. "

comments upgraded....

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

(i think i've got it figured out now. i sort of bulk moved all of the recent comments from the current main page. i got lazy, and didn't match the original times. )

sigh.....

and a big thanks to joe. who mumbled something incoherent about blogroller. so i went and looked. and if it isn't the easy, intelligent way to manage links.

damn. now i feel like i owe.

oh yes. the fine print. instead of "Updated!" you may notice I went and adapted the old fortune cookie joke. for those of you who don't know it, it's simply add "in bed" to the end of any fortune. seemed amusing at the time. assuming it works. (this may change at a whim, or based on complaints)

(you will note I wasn't insane enough to list by the author's names. i used their title. the thought of "joe in bed" sort of made me naseous. nothing personal. )

a wasabi love affair....

ah, wasabi.... it must be love. i enjoy your company, and your presence, and yet - you hurt me. it must be love.

picked up a back of wasabi coated peanuts to snack on this weekend. wound up running several hours of errands on sunday - almost all of it stuck in a car and driving. so... out came the wasabi peanuts. mmmmmmm......

toss a half handful in my mouth, and realize why that was a bad idea the first time, and is still a bad idea now. sinus cavities open to maximum, and part of my forehead sinks in. once the initial hit wears off, i tone it down to a couple at a time, savoring the flavour and heat.

until i burned my tongue. i didn't know it was possible, but i guess after eating about 2 cups of these things, i maxed out the taste buds, and pretty much burned my tongue. that great sandpapery scrape over your teeth and feel nothing type of burnout.

which didn't stop me from finishing them....

random thought....

• saw a sign for a diet place (herbal magic) that had lost letters and become herbal magi. so, would that refer to "these thin kings of orient are...."?

• i would also like to apologize to the world at large for a previous comment. last week on okami's blog i stated i had found a good use for my blackberry. i would like to go on the record stating that it was the fumes, as i was stuck in traffic. i would also like to go back to my original statement that there is no good use for a blackberry. (although i haven't tried it as a doorstop, fishing weight, or personal protection device yet).

• i had what i thought is a good idea for a blog - but it's taking me longer than i though to get it all together. (and now i feel a lot of pressure for it to be actually funny instead of what generally passes around here).
  

library...

just in case anyone thought i was starting to face reality - here is the current 'escapism' list:

recently started:

• the wars (timothy findley)
• the grim grotto, book the eleventh (lemony snicket)
  

recently finished:

• accordian crimes (e annie proulx): an interesting way to trace a story - the life of an accordian from birth to death, and the stories of the people whose lives touch this instrument. good characters. an occasional odd quirk of summing up a minor character's life in a half paragraph in brackets at the end of some chapters/sections. maybe it only worries me because i'm afraid that's how i'll end up. good book.
  
• to ride pegasus (anne mcaffrey): sci-fi fluff. a quick and amusing read about those with "talent" - although in this case they are referring to mental powers such as telepathy, empaths, etc and the fight to become recognized and protected as a part of society. fluffy and light.
  
• the slippery slope,book the tenth (lemony snicket): still amusing, even though it's still somewhat formula. i hear book the thirteenth will be the final book - which will probably upset some.
  

recently watched:
(to clarify - newly watched fils get semi-reviews. re-watched films get links, and maybe some oddball comments if anything strikes me at the time)

• wallace & grommit in the curse of the were-rabbit: i love wallace and grommit. a must own. claymation at it's best. humour as dry as some of the cheese. classic slapstick comedy sytlings.
  
• pitch black: (vin diesel) good sci-fi action. solid renter, thinking of picking up. the precursor to the chronicles of riddick. interesting concept. some really good filming style. good action. lots of fun. also explains some of the history of the later chronicles.
  
• my date with drew: funny michael moore style documentary. solid renter. "30 days, $1100, for an ordinary guy to get a date with drew barrymore." some really funny stuff start to finish. the bonus interview footage with drew is hilarious. a crazy movie about persuing your dreams. and i happen to like drew.
  
• trapped in paradise: own. funny. still laughing. (jon lovitz, dana carvey, nicolas cage). it's a comedy - don't think too hard about anything or expect too much. the performances are good. even the huggy warm fuzzy at the end doesn't kill it. (so sue me, i like cage too).
  
• ever after
• van helsing
  
• ever after: it's a drew movie ;)
  
• robotz: robin williams - what's not to like?
  
• harry potter & the goblet of fire
• labyrinth
• the imposters: (stanley tucci, oliver platt, alfred molina) total romp. great light comedy.
  
• boys on the side: ah, drew! (and whoopi goldberg, Mary-Louise Parker)
  
• blue's room: snacktime playdate: i like blue's clues - teaches problem solving. uses sign language. it's interactive. and there's lots of episodes, so the repetition isn't too bad. it's cute. i can't remember which of the blue's dvd's here had the "morning music" (think it was bluestock) but i laughed at the bathroom/potty song for almost an hour - mostly because i felt sorry for the guy who had to sing it on a green screen stage with the crew laughing hysterically. this review will cover for all the blue's listed below. haven't seen a bad one yet.
  
• blue's room: alphabet power
• blue's clues: bluestock
• blue's clues: blues big band
• blue's room: fred's birthday
• blue's room: holiday wishes
• the wiggles: sailing around the world: we skipped through this one pretty fast, and dropped it - too much drama for the two year old.